Simple Church @ Auntie Pei's

Tonight our simple church met at the home of Lydia's mother, who we affectionately refer to as Auntie Pei. Auntie Pei has been a true spiritual mother to our simple church community. Everyone loves her for her kindness and amazing heart. She truly has a true pastoral heart in caring and nurturing those she comes in contact with. Every time I speak to her, I am blessed and inspired by the insight she shares. Her words and her actions flow with the power of the Holy Spirit, and there is never a dull moment around her.

Every week is a new adventure, and this week was no exception. First, we all arrived and were able to eat some delicious Chinese food that Auntie Pei prepared for us. As usual, our group interacted and socialized for much of the first part of the night. We then went into a time of worship in which I was able to play my new keyboard. So exciting!!! Afterwards, everyone gathered around, sang happy birthday, and brought me a cake for my 22nd B-day. I feel old! Haha not really. But anyhoo, it was really great to spend my b-day with my awesome community!

Then, we all gathered around to hear Auntie Pei teach on some things God put on her heart. What she had to say was really powerful. She talked about prayer specifically referring to the Lord's prayer in the book of Luke. She broke it down for us in a way that I had never really heard before. One of the coolest things that I learned was that the word "Father" that Jesus used to refer to God was pretty out of the ordinary in biblical times. No one referred to God that way. Yet with Jesus referring to God as Abba, an even more endearing term for Father in the Hebrew language, he was demonstrating the powerful intimacy involved in prayer. This was such a cool reminder because I personally have been struggling a lot with prayer lately. I have just really had a hard time engaging with God while alone especially in this past week.

From there, Auntie Pei described some other elements of prayer and began to focus on examen prayer, a form of prayer in which we examine our feelings and bring them fully before God. Basically, you recall a moment in the day when you were most thankful or happy during the day and express those feelings to God. Next, you recall a moment in the day that you were disappointed or ungrateful for. We acknowledge those feelings to God with total honesty and allow ourselves to be where we are at with those feelings. Then we end by thanking God and recalling the feeling we had during the high part of our day.

We did something similar to this while we were in Haskell this summer. We went through a process called Heartbread in which we went through a similar exercise of examining our feelings and expressing them to God and to a partner. The exercise is really powerful because it allows you to be truly aware of what you are feeling inside, and in speaking frustration it actually helps to free you from the bonds that negatively hold you down. In speaking out truth, we remember the goodness of God.

So tonight, Auntie Pei had us go around and pray out to God the things that we were feeling. We started out first with our moments of gratitude and then our frustrations. What happened from that point was truly remarkable. People began to express their deepest emotions to God. I was able to share my joys and my frustrations publicly to God. It was the most powerful experience I have had in a while, and it was one of the most intimate times with God that I have experienced as of late as well. There was something truly powerful about our whole group being willing to be transparent with God and with one another. I feel as if we really stepped into something special tonight, and I know there was a lot of breakthrough that happened in my heart at the very least.

What I realized that in speaking out our joys and frustrations, we become aware of what is going on inside us. When we express those things corporately, we begin to uncover the schemes of the enemy that are coming against us because we are acknowledging and recognizing the things that are inside of us. One of the most profound lessons I have learned in all this is the importance of having a foundation that is based in intimacy with God and spiritual formation. I realize that for myself I could speak and hear about apostolic passion all day long. It is written on my heart and brings me much joy. However, I realize that areas that I need the most development and discipline are in that of spiritual formation. When I look back at my time in Haskell, I realize that the exercises and lessons in spiritual formation really provided me with a strong foundation in which to bring a strong relationship with God. Being aware of what was going on inside me allowed me to know how to connect with God in truly intimate ways.

Our simple church meetings are always pretty chaotic and unpredictable, but it is amazing to see how God always shows up in the midst of all the craziness. Tonight was an awesome night. Not only was I able to spend my birthday with awesome friends, but I was able to be reminded of the importance of knowing the heart of God. It is so amazing to see how our community has become so tightly knit. Many of the people stayed at Auntie Pei's house, either having deep spiritual conversations or having fun singing and being filled with joy. We probably could have been there energized and excited all night. Things are still tough and there are many uncertainties, but in the midst of it all, God has been good and being in community with believers has been medicine to my hurting soul.