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Christmas 2008: The Redemptive Power of Guns (nerf guns that is)

Disclaimer:
I got pretty carried away in telling my story, but be sure to check out the crazy videos at the bottom...if your looking on facebook make sure to look at the "original post." They are priceless....truly priceless....
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Wow it's hard to believe that another Christmas has come and passed us by! It's crazy how fast time flies. This year was no exception. In the midst of the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, it's easy to lose focus on why we celebrate Christmas. Today, we celebrate Jesus birth. We remember that because of his birth in a manger over 2000 years ago we have an eternal. The God of the universe sent His son to leave the riches and powers of heaven to be born into poverty and eventually die for the very creation He created. Thanks to His birth, I have a reason to smile, to laugh, to live life to the fullest.

This Christmas was no exception. Every Christmas, my extended family gets together to eat and enjoy one another's company. We usually gather around great food and after we eat the older people separate into their group and play scrabble and the younger kids hang out and find things to pass time usually with karaoke or something. But this year was markedly different. First of all, the past few years I have celebrated Christmas with my family in Los Angeles. But this year, we stayed in Phoenix. So all of us cousins decided we were going to have a Secret Santa gift exchange. We all picked names and were set on getting gifts for one another. However, a couple days before Christmas, my cousin Rhoanne and I were in the car talking about the gift exchange. While were driving, we had this random idea of pooling our secret Santa money together and buy some board games instead of buying each other presents. We figured it would be a lot more fun if we started some kind of family tradition where our cousins could gather together each holiday and look forward to doing something fun. The adults always play Scrabble, so we wanted to do something that would mark our generation and those to come.

That night we had dinner with most of our cousins, and we proposed the board game idea. They all were on board with the idea and like the fact that we could do something fun together. We then decided to all go to Target together. It was Dec. 23 so it was pretty busy. We braved the busy store and went searching for the perfect board games for our family. As we went down the game aisle, we came to decide we were going to pick Catch Phrase and Apples to Apples. We had those games in hands when my brother and Patrick had the spontaneous idea of buying a Nerf Gun. We all thought they were pretty crazy, but my brother was pretty adamant about getting a gun. We all turned down a game that he wanted to get earlier, so we all decided that we would get a Nerf a gun and play tag with it or something. It was settled, and we got a cool gun with glow in the dark darts and 8 dart shooter.

So fast forward to the day of Christmas. My brobro brings the gun to the family party and starts showing it to the rest of the cousins telling them how cool it is because he messed around with it the night before. They started shooting at the window at it and have this bright idea of drawing a target and playing a shooting game of sorts. One of my cousins, Leo, got a dry erase marker and began drawing a makeshift target on the television. Soon, all the guys began lining up and shooting at the target on the television. My uncle walked in and saw what we were doing and wanted to try joining in the fun. He got the gun and started shooting at the target drawn on the television as well. He missed the first couple of times, and it was pretty funny. But he soon got the hang of it and was pretty good with his aim.


So with this in mind, the scene was now set for an Epic showdown that would define the night and quite possibly the rest of our lives. We put the gun away as the family trickled into the house. I have a pretty big extended family. There are about 11 of us cousins, two of them have fiancees, and 4 younger cousins, and all their families. So we have a pretty big crowd. We sat around the table, and my uncle got out his guitar and led us in some Christmas carols. During the last song, he made the family divide into tenors, altos, and sopranos to sing Silent Night. It was quite funny but entertaining. We then prayed and sat together and enjoyed a scrumdidlyumcious meal! Then, history was made.

After dinner, my uncle, who had played with the Nerf gun, challenged the youth to a showdown versus the adults to see who were best sharpshooters in the family. So the stage was set - adults versus youth - who would come out with a victory in a game of a skill and momentum. I kid you not - it has probably been one of the most intense things I have ever been a part of. Each side picked 5 representatives - 5 adults versus 5 youth. We then began to spontaneously make rules left and right - mostly because I like to be a control freak sometime and make things entertaining and interesting. We had each time pick team captains, and they convened in the middle for the coin toss. The adults won the toss, and the youth decided to go up first. Each team alternated shooters. A youth member would go, and then an adult member would shoot. We created a point system based on where the dart landed on the target and tallied up the points.

After the first round of shooting, the youth blew the adults away by a score of 67 to 47. But the adults were resilient. They were not about to be undone by a group of scrappy young people. They challenged us to a best 2 out of 3 shoot out. So, they all lined up again alternating who would shoot at the target. At the end of the shootout, the adults pulled away with a narrow victory of 59-56. It was a close fight, but the adults would not be easily defeated. The youth visibly grew overconfident and less interested in the game, but the resolve of the adults steadily grew. The stage was not set for a tie breaker. The final 3rd set was truly historic.

Each team got up again for their last set to assert their dominance over the other. The atmosphere was electric. This might sound like a crazy satire, but it is all true. Stay with me. I have video down below to prove it all. Everyone eagerly watched each shot. People rejoiced and cheered with each bulls eye and skill shot; likewise, they cheered and poked fun of missed shots and miscues. It was really really funny. Adults were making fun of each other and pressuring the youth to mess up. The youth initiated the standard chants you hear at any competitive game. We cued up the stomping and clapping while we chanted "We Will We Will Rock You!" The chants reverberated throughout the room as the youth put the pressure on the adults to respond. After 3 shooters, the score was tied 51 to 51. It would go down to the final two shooters. The adults responded with their own chants, and we just laughed it off and came back with the "Hey Song" and other miscellaneous chants. I'm telling you this was really intense.

It came down to the wire. The final two shooters were up to shoot. My brother was one of them. The competition was so crazy family members were pitted against one another cheering on their team. In the video below, my brother is up to shoot when my mother, of all people, tries to distract to lose focus on the shot. It's really hilarious. Pay special attention to the seriousness of my brothers face and the terror tactics of my mother.




Pretty crazy right? Notice the ensuing argument over whether the shot was on the line or not. If the shot was on the line, it counts as a lower value. It was really close, but in the end, this shot ended up costing us the game in the slimmest of margins. I'm seriously not joking around in telling you this was a hotly contested shootout.

So get this, after all 5 youth shooters had gone, we were ahead by only ten points with the last shooter to go for the adults. The last shooter was my uncle, who had suggested we have a shootout in the first place. As he stepped up to the line, the youth section put significant pressure on the adults as they chanted, "Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!" He calmly stepped up to the line and had some incredible shots. He had hit the bulls eye and some other good shots and only needed two more points for the out right win. The youth watched with agonizing tension with the thought of being defeated by the adults. The pressure was on. My uncle geared up for his second to last shot. He put the gun into position, shot, and.... MISS. He missed the target! The youth section cheered with glee! The adults were shocked in silence. He had one more shot - bull's eye for a two point victory, two-point shot for the out right win, or one pointer for the tie. All he had to do was hit the target. He cocked the gun into place, pulled the trigger, and bam! He hit the one point target! The game was tied! Can you believe that? After all the agonizing tension, the was going into extra periods! We didn't even anticipate such a scenario happening!

After some discussion, the group decided we would do sudden death shootout. Each team member would have one shot. After each member shot, the fiver members total would be added up and the team with the highest total would win. We had another coin toss. The adults lost, and the youth decided to shoot first. The youth had some sub par shots and were beginning to melt under the pressure. The adults had some solid shots. At the end of the youth member's turn, the score was tied, and it came down to the last shooter, my dad. All he had to do was hit the target for the victory. The video below is the result of the crazy competition that came down to the very last shot in overtime!


Notice, the clutch performance by dad and the ensuing victory dance - A Kodak moment indeed! It was devastation for the youth and an "I told you so" moment for the adults. For yet another year, the oldies would not be denied. Their tested and tried perseverance won out and the youngins were left in stunned silence. The adults cheered and were excited to exert the dominance once again. At the end of the game, the adults got together and gave a final chant. It wasn't a jeer or a taunt, but nevertheless it stung. They gathered together and chanted, "We Wish you a Merry Christmas; We wish you a Merry Christmas; and a Happy New Year!" Ouch! Nothing like a Merry Christmas marred by defeat. Better luck next year youngins!

Hahaha......ahhh I crack myself up! Ahh, this was seriously such a great night though! It has been such a long time since I have seen so much laughter and joy exhibited by family. It has been two years since a big church break-up brought so much pain and devastation to my family. It caused a big split and many hurt emotions, but tonight all those painful memories seemed like the distant past. I saw a sense of unity and community that hasn't been there for so long. It is so awesome to see our family gather together and enjoy one another. A generational gap was bridged today, and new family tradition was born. Afterwards, the kids played Catch Phrase and the adults eagerly watched us waiting for their turn. They got their turn alright, and boy were they hilarious. So much laughter and joy today!

This past weekend I have been praying for healing and reconciliation for my family during this Christmas season. That is what I wanted for Christmas. My two Secret Santas from previous parties had failed me, but tonight, God showed up in a special way and didn't let me down. Tonight was a big step towards the healing of past wounds and a step towards unity and love. It was sooo goood! Thank you Jesus for being so cool.

But this blog entry would be incomplete with testifying to the other joys experienced today. I got to talk my friend Sara again today after almost a five month gap. It was so amazing to hear the awesome things God has been doing in her life. It was a very encouraging conversation, and it was so awesome to be able to talk again as if we hadn't missed a beat! The future ahead is looking bright. What a happy day! Thank you God for Christmas!

Dear God, as we take time to remember the birth of your son Jesus on this special day, I would also like to thank you for answered prayer. Thank you for being ever present at our family party tonight, and thank you so much for continuing to bring healing and reconciliation to our family. You are an amazing God and worthy to be praised! Thank you for renewed excitement and the joys of friendship. Thank you for greater things to come ahead! I pray for more healing and reconciliation and for more clarity and vision. Work in wondrous ways as you bring us into the New Year. We're believing for the Year of the Lord's favor in 2009! Thank you God for this day to remember your son's birth. Jesus is the true reason for the season! In Jesus Name, Amen!

The Reason We Pray

This last semester has been one crazy adventure. I never could have imagined all that God had in store. And to think, this is only the beginning. The waves are only getting bigger. Greater things are yet to come. I have so many things on my mind. I don't even know where to begin and how to process them all. It's like I am in a dream world. Is all of this really real? But, I pinch myself, and this is real life. God is on the move. Things are happening. We might not all see it yet, but it's there. Just keep waiting, watching.

I have been reading Pete Greig's book Red Moon Rising the last few days. It is amazing. I've been meaning to read this book for a while, but I never got to it until now. I think God really has brought me into this season in my life to read this book. It's pretty powerful and doing some crazy things in my heart. As I read through this book, I realize how God is working in my heart calling me to pray, but more so calling a generation to pray. As I look at my life, I think to myself just how God is good and sovereign in my life. Today, I thank God for renewed friendship and excitement. It has been a long, arduous path, and it will continue to be. But it has been well worth it so far. I thank God for all that I have gone through as He prepares my heart for what's next. I thank God for relationships that uplift and build me up like iron sharpens iron. I wish I could explain the feelings that I am experiencing, but no words can express. I'm at a loss for word in trying to comprehend what God is doing.

It is simply indescribable trying to understand the vastness of God. I find myself being so small and insignificant compared to the greatness of His power. And yet He has chosen me. He has invited me into this crazy plan of His. And He invites us all. I am humbled at the thought that these revolutionary thoughts in my head are not mine. They belong to God. From the outside view, I am just a crazy, radical college kid going through a phase. But this is no phase, following Jesus is a lifelong commitment. I have consigned to the fact that for the rest of life I will be misunderstood and probably misrepresented. But there is more than meets the eye. There is something stirring inside that I don't know how to explain or express.

There is a shift occurring in our generation. The eyes of the lost and forgotten are being opened. Renewal is happening. Healing is taking place. In his book, Greig puts it like this: "As God mobilizes a different army, a fighting force that will wage peace on earth, it must begin with healing and hope for those soldiers crushed by the past" (152). How do I know it's happening? Because I see the transformation in my life. I look back to a year ago and am baffled at how God invited me into a process of renewal. I look to the lives of people around me who are testaments of the healing God is doing their lives. As I spoke to a friend who I haven't spoke to in five months, I heard the work of healing God is continually doing in her life. And as she spoke, I realized the healing God was doing in my own life.


As I spoke to another friend, these words jumped out to me:

i've been thinking a lot about how like writing (creative writing, blogging, email writing, writing groups) can be used to bring about healing and community and Jesus, and i've just been thinking a lot about how i have a ton of ideas but less than a smidgen of courage/confidence to bring them into reality.

This is the reason why I pray. Because there is a generation that God is raising up to bring healing and renewal in revolutionary ways that will touch the world from end to end. But the healing begins first in our hearts. Before we can go out, we must experience the freeing and healing touch of God. These words encourage me because they remind me that it is not in our own strength or strategy that we will make a difference. It is the sovereign power of God who will work in our lives and use weak vessels like us. I see myself in this statement. I oftentimes find myself afraid at what God could possibly use me for. I am humbled because He has given me the invitation to join Him in an epic battle plan to bring healing and renewal to the world. I pray for moments like today when healing and renewal take place once again - when friendships are brought back to life and restoration happens; when realization occurs and divine inspiration takes place. This is just the beginning of what is to come. I only have a limited eye's view of God's bigger picture. But there is so much more....so much more.

In closing, as I am reading through Red Moon Rising, I came upon a passage that I had read before in a book called Fireseeds of Revival. It is a poem that struck my heart about a year ago. The video I have pasted below is a pretty powerful representation of the passage. I have pasted the complete words to the poem underneath the video as well. Anyhoo, I shared this poem at my church when I first began to realize the magnitude of revival. I didn't realize this poem was written by Pete Greig when I wrote it. But I spoke this poem and saw God move in powerful ways at my church. God spoke through me at church this one Sunday. I saw my brother and my father as well as many others respond to God in an altar call. Many others cried. God was moving that day. And He is continuing to move in this generation. He is inviting us to catch the wave of what He is doing in this generation. Will you join?

And this is why I pray....

The Vision

by Pete Grieg

So this guy comes up to me and says, “What’s the vision? What’s the big idea?”
I open up my mouth and the words come out like this...

The vision?
The vision is Jesus:
obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is of an army of young people.
You see bones?
I see an army.

And they are free from materialism—
They laugh at nine-to-five little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the West was won.

They are mobile like the wind.
They belong to the nations.
They need no passport.
People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting, dirty and dying.

What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry.
It gave up the game of minimal integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, from every conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps—their Satan games.

This is an army that would lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day, its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great “well done” of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.

They don’t need fame from names.
Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”
And this is the sound of the underground, the whisper of history in the making, foundations shaking, revolutionaries dreaming once again.
Mystery is scheming in whispers, conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground.

And the army is disciple(in)ed—
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.
Winners.
Martyrs.
Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them?

And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulfuric tears and great barrow loads of laughter!

Waiting.
Watching.
24-7-365.

Whatever it takes they will give:
Breaking the rules,
Shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide,
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs,
Laughing at labels,
Fasting essentials.
The advertisers cannot mold them.
Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late-night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive on the inside.
On the outside?
They hardly care!
They wear clothes like costumes: to communicate and celebrate, but never to hide.

Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their lives, swap seats with the man on death row, guilty as hell: a throne of an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as though it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses Jesus.
He breathes out.
They breathe in.
Their subconscious sings.
They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.

Their words make demons scream in shopping malls.
Don’t you hear them coming?

Herald the weirdoes!
Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes!
They walk tall and trees applaud.
Skyscrapers bow.
Mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.

Their prayers summon the Hound of Heaven and evoke the dream of Eden.

And, this vision will be.
It will come to pass.
It will come easily.
It will come soon.

How do I know?
Because, this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the spirit, the very dream of God.

My tomorrow is His today.
My distant hope is His 3-D.
And, my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking, great “AMEN!” from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself.

And He is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.

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God, Thank you for today. Thank you for renewed friendships and inspirational conversations. Thank you for renewed excitement and renewed joy. Thank you that your plan is bigger than what we can possibly imagine. Thank you that you are raising up a generation eager to respond. God, I pray that you would break off all fear and disunity upon our hearts. Give us a spirit of boldness and unity to step out in faith to what you have called us to do. Raise up your nameless, faceless generation who will bring glory to you in all we say and do. Teach us what it means to bring you glory in all things. Teach us to love one another as You have loved us. Give us strength to whole-heartedly fall after you and die to our selfish desires. May we never compromise for the good or even great things. You offer the best, and we receive that with wide-open arms and hearts. We love you Jesus. Raise up a generation who will cry out for you! We long for the day in which the Spirit and the Bride will say "Come." Maranatha - Come quickly Lord Jesus! In your precious name, Amen!

Another Semester Down

Wooo! Another semester down, only 3 more to go! What a scary thought. It's crazy to think about how fast time flies by. But I'm definitely glad to have this semester over with. It has been one crazy adventure so far with so many unexpected turns and ups and downs. I am so ready to take a few moments to breathe and catch my breath before things get all crazy again. This is gonna be an awesome time to rest and really spend some time with God and make up for lost time. I'm excited to wait on the Lord and see where He will take me in this next chapter of my life. It's been a pretty hard season, and I'm sure there will be a lot more preparation to go through before it is all said and done. But it has been fun. And it'll be good to see how God orchestrates the crazy things that will happen next.

As of right now, I'm gonna move out of my dorm, go back home, and just take some time to really pray and seek God in the next few days. Then Christmas will be right around the corner. Yay! Christmas is always fun! What an amazing season to celebrate Christ's birth and remember why we do the things we do. After that, I'll be going to Kansas City for OneThing! I'm so excited for this. I didn't think I would be able to go, but God is making it happen. Woohoo! I get to go with the Ngais also! So fun! Last time, we went on a trip together to Colorado, we encountered some crazy adventures. I wonder what's next. Then two weeks off after that and off to Epic Conference in San Francisco before school starts. It's gonna be rad. I'm just really excited about everything right now.

It's good to be free! Yesterday, I got to chill for the first time in a really long time and not have to worry about coming home and doing homework. It felt so good! We went to Guitar Center, and then ended up hanging out at the MU after that. My roommate came up with a new dance called the pie eating dance. It's going to be hitting the clubs over the summer be looking out for it. Haha then my roommate and I randomly started wrestling in my room. He's a lot bigger than me, but I definitely got him in a choke hold in one round haha. Oh and I finally watched the Dark Night for the first time - pretty intense.

Anyhoo, some of us from Epic got together and prayed before we all went off in our separate directions. It was sweet to be in the prayer room once again for the last time of the semester. It makes me so happy to see how much our group has grown over the last semester. I talk about it all the time, but we have really grown a lot. It's amazing to see how our group came together. So many crazy stories piled into one. It was definitely good to pray for one another and seek God for direction as we go off into winter break. We'll see each other once again at Epic Conference! Woot! Winter Break, here we come!!! Thank you God that we are finally here!

After hours... in the library

So, Michael Buster, Lydia, and I probably had the coolest conversation in the library ever. It was so spontaneous and random, but so divinely inspired at the same time. It started with a discussion about Orientalism and the ways in which Asians are subverted today though in ways subtle and unseen. But what I saw tonight was something so special. I saw a camaraderie and transformation that was so unique and so birthed out the heart of God. The conversations we have are sparking a transformation in our hearts that going to affect the world. Our systems of church, education, politics, and whatever have been forming and shaping people to think one way and be one kind of model. But God is doing something special in which I believe He is going to change the way we think about the church that is going to transform the rest of society. When we come to understand the fullness of who we have been created to be, we will walk in freedom knowing what God wants to do. There is still so much healing that needs to take place in each of hearts, but we are moving one step closer. I don't know what to say, but transformation is taking place in the after hours in places like the library. Relationships are being developed in the places that our lives intersect. They are being developed around homework of all things. Out of this simple thing has come conversations that will forever change our lives and will be the starting point of things to come. This was definitely a refreshment to me tonight. Ya, I have finals and stuff tomorrow morning. But when it's all said in done, the things that were spoken here tonight will go so much further. God is working on people's hearts and is setting us free to step into the fullness He offers us. There's something about this library. Intercession is the key. Let's press in and pray. God is moving in peoples hearts in a very special way.

Powerful Company

Haha....hmmm....where do I even begin? God remains to be as awesome as ever. I've been totally out of it and not feeling it lately, but nevertheless God has been showing up in some really cool ways especially in the last couple of days. So yesterday as I talked about in my last blog, I got to spend some time with some missionaries who have a heart for the Muslim community. It was a really awesome opportunity to hear their hearts and gain Godly counsel form their experiences. It was also a really cool thing to share that with my Epic Crew. That last night, I really felt like we broke through into something. After all, I did name my blog Epic Crew "Breakthrough" because I thought it was amazingly significant.

Well, tonight just got even crazier and amazing. So today we had a prayer meeting gathering student prayer leaders from different campuses from all over Arizona. At the beginning of the day, I was so not into this. I'm still in the middle of finals and stuff, so I was a little hesitant to have this meeting, and I have been so ready to just check out of school and planning and just chill. Well, every time I have this attitude, God always seems to move my heart in a special way especially with these group of prayer leaders. We had prayer leaders from a school in Prescott, AZ, NAU, and ASU. We got together worshipped and prayed over one another and each other's campuses. It was a really sweet experience. I got to share my heart on the freshman and 2Chronicles 20:12 to one of the girls from NAU, and it was really amazing to find out they had used that exact verse for their 24hour prayer theme this year! God is too cool.

So anyway, after we took time sharing with one another, we zipped off to dinner at Hal and Cheryl Sack's house. These two are an amazing couple who are totally anointed and have been working together to connect leaders across Arizona and bring the power of God to this state. They are influential leaders who help put on conferences like PrayerQuake that was really influential in shaping my life this last summer. To get an idea of how awesome and influential they are - while we were talking - Cindy Jacobs called them and left a message on their voicemail. Cindy Jacobs is a well-known woman of God who walks in the prophetic and has a heart for intercession. It was pretty sweet. She is a fiery woman of God.

Anyway, so if you don't catch the drift. Last night, I met with two powerful and anointed couples and then tonight I met with another couple who have tremendous hearts for God. Like last night, they hosted about ten of us prayer leaders in their house. We ate together and shared some stories about God was doing in our lives and what was happening in our campuses. They also shared some great insight with us that really opened my mind and heart to a lot of cool things that God is doing in Arizona and around the world.

One of the things that they really emphasized to us youth leaders was to remain focused on what God is calling us to do. They talked about how so many times this generation of young people gets so excited and passionate for God that we want to go out and change the world right now. However, they challenged us to really press into the things that God is calling us to do especially with the majors he has called us to in school. In talking about this, they mentioned the idea of the 7 mountains of influence. These 7 seven mountains of influence include things like business, government, arts/media, religion, family, etc. Apparently, these 7 mountains of influence were shown to Bill Bright and another influential leader by God to call people to intercede specifically for these things. So each of these mountains has a significant influence in our society. But they mentioned that only about 6% of people actually hold the power in each of these influences. God is calling our generation to begin to rise up influence these different mountains. We are to pray for the top 6% and begin to get there ourselves. God is raising up a powerful generation of youth who revolutionize our society. But we must be faithful in preparing ourselves.

Whether it be a doctor, lawyer, artist, musician, politician, minister, etc. - God is calling our to generation to remain steadfast in what He has called us to do in this time and moment. There is a tendency for us to run really fast and change the world. But God wants us to be where we are at right now. It's hard, and it's not glamorous, but God is making us ready for a time when we will really be able to influence the places he has called us to. Hal and Cheryl talked about how in their days if you were passionate for God you only had limited number of options in pursuing ministry. You either became a missionary, became a pastor, or married a pastor. There were only so many options. These people oftentimes ended up being unhappy because they weren't able to reach their full potential.

However, these days God is allowing the look of ministry to be completely different from what it was in previous generations. These days God is calling people to be missionaries in the marketplace. This means that God is calling college students to go into the professions such as engineering, medicine, education, politics, etc. and go make a change in these places in bringing the influence of His kingdom. He talked about the example of Jaeson Ma and how God has used him to revolutionize Hollywood and influenced other top celebrities and musicians. God has prepared his heart for this unique season. He had to wait and endure a long season, but now God has him in a tremendous place of influence.

Hal gave an example like this. He talked about how we are in a big baseball game. The game is going on out there, and one of these days we will be up to bat. We will have our chance to go out there and make a difference in the game. However, the pitches won't be slow or always in the zone. They are going to be just as hard as anyone else who came before us. We must be ready when this opportunity comes up. Thus, we must prepare our hearts and remain under God's covering. We cannot be impatient and miss on what God is calling us to do. It may not be glamorous and easy now, but God is preparing us for a unique time when we will be able to operate in the fullness of what He has in store for us.

So as you can garner, this couple is amazing! It was such a blessing to in their company. You can just imagine the powerful company I was privileged to be a part of tonight. There were amazing prayer leaders from all over the state having the opportunity to pray and speak with an amazing couple who have been forerunning this current movement of God. It was crazy because as we worshipped together as a group, God really began putting on my heart that what we did tonight and the night before was one step closer to what the restoration of the church looks like. My heart is much to see the power of God restore the church and see the fullness of what He wants the church to be.

So as we prayed, I just began to imagine what it would look like if young people would be able to meet more frequently with spiritual mothers and fathers like Hal and Cheryl more often. It is truly a transformational experience. I have experienced it two nights in a row, and it totally blows my mind away. The group your with grows so much closer together, and everyone is encouraged. I mean I really felt like we were operating close to the fullness of God wants the church to look like. We fellowshipped and ate together. We shared together. People prophesied over each other. Hal and Cheryl prophesied over everyone (more on this later). We worshipped together. There was even some deliverance tonight and some healing. Like I said, these are things that I believe will be commonplace in the church as move forward in what He has called us to be.

What was so amazing about tonight was how natural and normal these things happened. There was nothing forced or pretentious about anything that happened tonight. No one person was glorified or had attention drawn to them. I really believe Jesus Christ was fully glorified and lifted high tonight. And that was what has been so cool about tonight. I saw people operate in their giftings in such a natural and normal way in which everyone was edified. This is was definitely a picture or a snapshot of what the church will look like! What is so crazy is like I said before these are the things that God has really been placing on my heart. Kelly and I have discussed meeting with the older generation before and doing something like this. And even as I prayed, God brought back to memory this strategy that He had put on my heart over the summer in my time of fasting and praying. Over the summer, I really wanted to initiate a simple church movement amongst the youth in my church. God really put a strategy on my heart that included a similar strategy that I have experienced the last two nights. It involves a youth group holding a simple church meeting but having it be hosted and partly facilitated by a couple in the church who would be willing to house and feed the youth. This could work on rotation system where different families could host the youth group simple church.

I don't know exactly what this would look like. But I think it would be so amazing to have spiritual fathers and mothers provide direction and prophetic vision to the emerging youth. Our generation is missing role models of fathers and mothers and their is a lack of discipleship and accountability. What would it look life if the younger generation and the older generation were more regularly sitting around a table together eating and sharing the things God is doing in each groups hearts. It would be an encouragement to both groups, and I really think we would begin to see some crazy transformation. I really think that this will potentially be a big step in seeing a new move in church structure and vision.

So anyways, as you probably know by now, my heart is to see the transformation and restoration of the church. I desire to see simple churches raised up, and students and others empowered and equipped to bring the gospel to the ends of the earth. It was so crazy because I mentioned this a little bit to Hal and Cheryl, but they only knew me for a couple hours when they began to prophesy an amazing word to me that totally blows me and and humbles my heart. First of all, they told me that I shouldn't be surprised if the plan and strategy didn't look like what I expected. In fact, I should probably expect it to look differently. Even with all the radical ideas that we talk about together, the outcome will be different than what we expected. Then they began to say how God was going to use me to step into a new wineskin that has never before been seen. There would be new blueprints that would be downloaded straight from God and from no one else. There will be new plans and models that I won't be copying from anyone else. This won't be happening alone. It will require the help and relationships of others. They said that I probably would be misunderstood. But that I must continue to be faithful to God and walk in humility. Then, Cheryl prayed that I God would send me a spiritual mentor who would help me discover and learn the principles that God wants me to have in order for Him to show me what He wanted me to do. This mentor wouldn't tell me what to do, but would help me along the way. Eventually, there will come a point that even my mentor will not understand the things God is leading me to, and I will have to step out in faith.

Crazy! I don't want to say things with a spirit of pride or anything. It just feels so amazing to see that what they said encapsulates so many things on my heart. My heart is so keen on seeing God move in our generation and move us into a new wineskin and a new way of seeing the church move in the power of God. Also, I have so desired to have a spiritual mentor who would be able to help me through this process. That has been one of the biggest things that has frustrated me, and one of the biggest things I have been asking God to bring to me. And all in one night, God affirmed and confirmed the things He was putting on my heart and encouraged me so much. It was so awesome!

I could probably go on forever, but I think the point is that God is moving in awesome ways. What tonight really showed me is that when we rest in God the breakthrough and the revelations come so much more quickly. Oftentimes, we work so hard and strive to experience God and hear His voice. But so often, he just wants us to wait on Him and allow the breakthroughs to come naturally and organically. The breakthroughs will come, but they come most often when we rest in God. Tonight and last night, I saw the Holy Spirit working in ways that seemed so normal and so natural. He was putting things on my heart and those around us. The Spirit was moving in ways in which everyone was encouraged, but no one had to work or strive towards. Tonight, I got a glimpse of what the church should and will be like. It was a beautiful sight. I was definitely in the midst of some powerful company tonight. None more powerful than the Holy Spirit Himself. Yay God!

God, thank you for your faithfulness and your love. Thank you that you move in heart ours and minds in ways that we cannot even begin to think or imagine. Thank you that you invite us to rest in you and experience this breakthrough out of restoration and renewal. Thank you for opportunities to see the fullness of who you are be manifested in simple expressions of what it looks like to be the church. God, I pray that you would help our generation to be patient in stepping into the full destiny that you have prepared for us. May we remember that destiny is birthed and released out of knowing who we are. Our identity is set in you. You are so good! God help me to remain humble and patient in seeking your face. Break off any pride or self-seeking. When all else fades and goes away, you still remain. You are the desire of my heart and the source of my affection. No one else will do. Raise up a generation of lovesick worshippers. We love you Jesus! The Spirit and the Bride say come! In Jesus Name, Amen!

Epic Crew Breakthrough

Wow! So God never ceases to amaze me with His awesomeness. He always seems to show up in ways that you least expect it. As the semester winds down, it's crazy just to sit back and reflect on the craziness that God has orchestrated. Speaking of orchestra - totally random, but I'm going to say it anyway - so I've been listening to a classical music lately especially when I'm studying. It might seem kind of nerdy, but I find it to be very relaxing. I remember I would use to listen to the classical music station on the radio when I was doing my calculus homework in high school. Haha it was legit! I'm determined to play Mozart music to my children one day so that they will grow up to be geniuses haha. Anyway, as I listen to classical music especially orchestras, I am blown away by the complexity of the music. It blows my mind away how one person could come up with musical masterpieces so complex. As I listen to the music, I am reminded how God is so much bigger and more complex than anything any human can come up with. Crazy!

Anyhoo, tonight was a pretty crazy night. I really feel like we stepped into some kind of breakthrough with our Epic crew tonight. Lydia, one of our Epic friends invited us over to her house to have dinner with her mother and Rick and Fran Love. Rick and Fran Love were the former International directors of Frontiers, a missions group focused on reaching the Muslim community. In other words, they were a big deal! It was such an awesome experience to hear their hearts on missions and their insight into the things God is doing around the world. They have such amazing hearts, and they were so gracious in taking time out of their busy schedules to have dinner with a group of college kids.

The things we talked about were amazing. One of the things that really got me excited was the brief conversation I was able to have with Rick about the Philippines. Rick has been all over the world and lived in Indonesia for many years. He has a special heart for reaching the Muslim community. And he talked some about Filipinos working in the Middle East. As soon as he mentioned this, i got super excited because one of the things God put on my heart over the summer was the role that Filipinos could possibly play in reaching Muslims and bringing the gospel back to Jerusalem. One of the things I have been thinking about doing is looking at the impact of the Filipino Diaspora in places such as the Middle East, and my heart has been to see God use Filipinos in these places to spread the gospel. As I told him about my interest in the Philippines, he began to tell me about how these things were happening with Filipinos in the Middle East! Filipinos were being raised up to reach the Muslim community in places like Saudi Arabia! I always thought I was crazy in thinking about those things because I had no idea how legitimate it was. But it was such a crazy confirmation to know that things like this are already happening.

The Loves also talked about racial reconciliation and the beauty of seeing different cultures and ethnicities worshipping God in their own unique ways. It was so cool to hear him talk about the cool ways different ethnicities worship God and the importance of recognizing and working toward this diversity especially in the Western church. Here in the West, we have become so set on worshipping and understanding God in a certain way. Even in our mission work, we tend to relay our Western conceptions of church onto other people without taking the time to understand the beauty and complexity of their own cultures. We also got to talk about some deep-rooted issues dealing with evangelism. We often go into evangelism with wrong motivations, and we fail to recognize just what evangelism means. He reminded us that the root of the word evangelism means "good news." We often lose sight of the fact that the heart of evangelism is "good news."

But I think one of the things that I was really convicted of tonight was the idea of loving others. I mean we hear all the time. We have to love our neighbors as ourselves. Loving other people is such an important concept. And yet, too often, we love people with an agenda. We love people so that they will follow Jesus. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this, but the Loves brought up the difficulties they faced in reaching the Muslim community. They were confronted by the fact that they would only love people if they followed Jesus; however, when people weren't following Jesus anymore they wouldn't show them they same kind of love.

When they said this, I was instantly convicted. I look at so many situations in my life when my love for them has been contingent upon them meeting my expectations. I only love people when they do the things that I expect them to do. I only care for them and keep up with them when I see growth and transformation. But whenever people are not meeting my expectations or aren't loving Jesus anymore, it's like I don't love them as much. And it's really crazy to think about this concept especially in thinking about what parents have to go through. I realized the hardships that many Christian parents face in raising kids. So many parents work so hard and do so much for their kids, but so many times things don't turn out how they expected. I heard examples of this tonight, and as I think about it now, it grips my heart.

I am beginning to realize so much of what it means to love people without agenda. I mean I always thought I knew about this. I mean ya, we are supposed to love people no matter what they do and no matter what the circumstances. I think this is sometimes easier when we are first meeting people. We meet a person, and we want to love them no matter what they do or who they are. This is a significant first step. Then as we love and care for this person, we see them grow and get excited about loving God. They do and say all the right things, and even if they don't, you see significant growth, so it makes you happy. When you see this, you love them even more. But lately, I have been realizing that it is so hard to love people who have shown so much potential and so much growth in loving Jesus who all of a sudden don't show that same amount of interest and enthusiasm about knowing about God. What happens when those people who have grown so much hit speed bumps, and don't follow Jesus the same way you used to. Do you still love them the same? Our love for people shouldn't change, but in my human flesh, I realize that I make judgments based on how people act and how they respond to me. I often think about how selfish people or how ungrateful they are for not responding to the love that I have shown them. But then I realize that I'm the one being selfish in wanting that kind of recognition and appreciation in the first place.

And then there's the whole issues of parents. I know I have a hard to understanding how my parents have loved me at times. I went through a somewhat rebellious period in my life, and yet my parents never checked out on me. They were there to love me through thick and thin. There were definitely some hard times along the way, but they have loved me a long the way. Then there's the story of loving parents who love and care for their kids so much even though they break their hearts. How does that even work? How can you do that?

It's even crazier to think about God and the crazy love He has for us. We have let Him down so many times and haven't always loved Him fully, but He has always been there for us. When I remember this, I feel like a jerk for being so angry and frustrated with the people in my life who I feel "let me down." I've let down my parents so many times, yet they still love me. Even more so, I have let down God so much, and yet his love never changes. I guess it was awesome to get this perspective once again and see just how big and awesome God's love really is. This is a definitely a lesson that never gets old.

But getting to the heart of this matter, I really felt like tonight was a breakthrough of sorts. Tonight, five of us from Epic got to sit down and have dinner with friends and mentors of an older generation - our parents generation. It was so amazing to hear their unique insight and experiences. So many times, I know I get into the mentality that I am a young visionary with a plan to change the world. I often forget that there have been others before me who have had similar ambitions. It was so good to hear their wisdom and see their openness to hearing the things God is doing in our lives. It was cool because while we learned so much from them I think they were really encouraged by us as well. This is a breakthrough because this is the kind of thing that I have always wanted to do - bridge the generational gap with young and old sharing their stories and experiences. I remember Kelly and I talking about this kind of thing when we first started Epic a year ago. I have even heard our Crusade campus directors talking about this concept. They have wanted adults in the community to take in students, share a meal with them, and exchange stories. We did that tonight without knowing what we were stepping into. It just kind of happened.

Thank you God! This night was seriously an amazing blessing. Not only did we get to hang out with some cool adults, but we also got closer as a group as well. I mean its 1am on a Sunday morning, and we are hanging out together while studying in the library. Who does that? We are seeing some crazy transformation. And it's nothing that I could have orchestrated or come up with in a million years. Life is like a crazy symphony and God is orchestrating everything to perfection. All we gotta do is play our part and let the complexity of his plan unfold around us. I sure have no idea what is going on, but I feel so privileged and honored to be a part of it.

God,
Thank you so much that you are a God who works in mysterious ways. You never cease to amaze me! Thank you for the lessons you teach me in the places that I would least expect it. Tonight, I want to lift up to you the parents of this generation. God, I pray that they would remain steadfast in your love as you have remained steadfast in your love for us. I thank you for the parents who have remained faithful in loving their children even when their children break their hearts. God,you said that you would turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children and the hearts of the children back to the fathers. So tonight, we pray that you would bring the prodigals home. Lord, bring back the prodigal children back to their parents. Lord, we also pray for the children who don't have parents to love them. May they know tonight that above all else you love them. But we pray for their parents as well. Your promise is two-fold - the father's would turn to their children and the children to their fathers. So we pray for a special impartation of that tonight. After hearing the brokenness of parents tonight, we just want to lift up the children and pray that you bring them back to you. And in knowing the pains of this fatherless generation, we pray that you would break off the orphan spirit and return the father and mothers back in loving relationship with their children. Teach us how to love without agenda Lord. May we love people through the good times and the bad even when they aren't following after you. Thank you that you showed us what this looks like in sending your Son even in the midst our sin and depravity. Help us to never lose sight of who you are. Thank you Abba Father. You are soo goood! We love you. In Jesus Name, Amen!