Growing up

So I've been kind of slacking on my blog lately. It's for a variety of reasons. I've been pretty busy with school, and I've been experiencing a lot of mood swings and brokenness in this current season. But in the midst of it all God has been good. It's weird to think that today I am 21 years old! Weird. I never really saw myself being at this point of my life. I mean I never thought that at 21 years of age, I would have given up all my dreams and ambitions and been sold out for Jesus. If you told me before I went into college that I would be a crazy Jesus freak at the age of 21 and forfeited my desires to be a doctor and an engineer, I would have thought you were crazy. Well, I guess I am crazy because here I am today, 21 years old and crazy for Jesus.

It's been a great journey, and I have learned so much. I look back it all and realize that God has truly been in the midst of every situation and every decision. As I enter a new chapter of my life, I realize that there are lots of challenges and twists along the way. But I'm excited - excited because I get to embark on a new adventure with God at the forefront of my life. I don't know where this journey will take me, and I don't know what exactly to expect. But one thing is for sure. I expect the best. See, I have traded in the good and the great in pursuit of the best. In that process, I have had to give up a lot of good - no great - things including dreams, ambitions, reputation, and relationships. But I have no regrets. Good and great are the enemies of the best. Life can be good and it can be great, but why settle for anything less than the best.

I will not be content until I see the presence of God made fully known in my generation and the generations to come. I will not be content until I see the fulfillment of the Great Commandment and Great Commission. But one thing I will find satisfaction in is knowing and dwelling in the presence of my almighty God. I have tasted and I have seen the goodness of God's love, and I'm addicted to His presence! I want more of God for all of me and for all of this generation. We owe it to our generation to experience the love and power of God. Our churches and our organizations have diminished the power of God for too long. We must move in His power and dwell in His presence. We must stop getting excited merely about our Christianity; but instead we must get excited because we serve a great God who is loving and compassionate and cares for the every need of His people.

I've learned a lot in just the last few weeks. I wish I would have been more diligent in posting. The enemy has definitely tried to steal my joy and my experiences. I've experienced some of the most encouraging and discouraging moments in the past couple of weeks. I've experienced sadness, loneliness, and isolation. But I've also experienced joy, love, and the power of community. In the midst of feeling isolated and misunderstood, I have seen the power of community. Last Thursday, I was so encouraged to hang out with some brothers in Christ after Crusade and here the similar struggles and frustrations that we are going through. I really feel as if Satan is trying keep us isolated and apart. But there is power in community. Earlier this week, we had revival prayer night at the chapel, and afterward, we were hit with the joy of the Lord and began laughing uncontrollably.

Epic has been pretty amazing too, but that's a whole other story in itself. God has been doing crazy things through Epic. I've seen crazy transformation in peoples lives in just 3 weeks. I see people who love and care for one another, who cook for one another, pray for one another, and so much more. I will have to describe more fully what we are doing in Epic this semester, but it's something that's definitely of God. I mean just tonight at our meeting I felt the presence of God touch us in an amazing way today as we waited for Him in prayer. God is doing good things.

I don't really know how to express what I'm feeling right now. I feel like have so much to say and so much to catch up on, but not enough time. I'm just really tired and need to get to bed now. I've been committed to early morning prayer and meditation thanks to my brother in Christ who helps keep me accountable. But ya, right now in my life, I feel like I'm still in this season of refinement where God is leading me to greater discipline and intentionality. Things that I usually could get away with in the past, I now either get attacked in or experience a lot of difficulties with.

But God has been faithful in it all. It definitely has been a time of transition and adjustment. I'm still in the process of adjusting through so many things that I experienced this summer and just in the last 9 months. It's been a crazy ride, but I'm excited to see what God does at the end of it. I have so much to process and write about for just the past few weeks. But in due time, I know God will bring it together. For now, I must continue to wait on Him and seek His will in all things. What a crazy ride. I feel like I'm getting so old. I guess this is the process of growing up.

God, I don't know what's next. I don't know what's going on right now. My life seems so crazy and all-over the place in this season. But I'm encouraged by your people. The stories you are writing in others' lives is an encouragement to me. God, I pray that you will continue to write me story. I want to be led by your spirit,by your will. I pray that you will awaken a generation to recognize the depths of your love. I pray that you will raise up a generation that will stand in the gap. God give us one, pure and holy passion. May we seek to know your presence and make your presence known. In the midst of brokenness and uncertainty, you remain sovereign. You are a God of love and mercy - a God of grace. As I grow older, I pray I may grow wiser and more discerning. Open my heart and my eyes to the injustices of this world. Open my heart to more of your love. God, may I continue to grow walking in your paths. May I build my foundation on solid rock. You are my cornerstone. You are my foundation. God raise up a generation of young ones who will fall in love with you even in their youth. 12 not 21! Raise up a generation of lovesick worshippers at 12 not 21. You have blessed me greatly God but will you empower the younger generation to do even more. Let your sons and daughters arise. Let the little children come to you! We want more 12 year old that will burn with Holy passion. We give this generation to you, O Lord. Complete the work that you have started. In Jesus Name. Amen!

Yay God!

Wow! Unbelievable! God is moving like crazy at ASU. Tonight has been one of the most incredible nights I have ever experienced in a really long time. I am so tired right now, but my Spirit is jumping up and down with joy inside of me right now. I don't even know how to explain or give words to how I feel right now. I don't really know what to describe what has just happened tonight. All I can say is that God is on the move and is working in peoples hearts like crazy!

Woo, so I don't know where to begin. God has been doing awesome things in people lives. People are becoming radically transformed and are coming to grasp the infinite love that Jesus has for them. It's so crazy to see what is going on in our churches and campuses. I am blown away by how God has been raising up laborers at this campus and across this city and nation. I am so encouraged by my brother. Here is a kid who is 18 and is leading the youth group at my church. He has no experience, no training, and no credentials. I can honestly say he just last year he was probably one of the most irresponsible people I would have known. But God has hit him hard, and he is leading a youth group that has radically experienced the presence of God. It didn't take a seminary trained youth pastor to work with this youth, it took one 18 year old kid who was willing to be obedient to the voice of God.

Just yesterday, he told me he poured out his heart and vision to the youth group. And get this, God called him to wash all of their feet! There was 28 of them there! Seriously? What the heck compels you to wash 28 peoples feet. Talk about service and humility. No wonder we have seen so much transformation in that group. People are standing up and following the voice of God no matter how crazy it seems. As you might expect, the service was very emotional and hugely transformational. Peoples lives were changed and lots of tears were shed. The presence of God is moving through the younger generations. It is a testimony that you don't have to eloquent or "qualified" to hear the voice of God and be obedient. All it takes is humility and obedience in seeking God's will for this generation.

Then tonight at our Crusade Meeting, the Spirit of God broke out like crazy. I keep saying crazy, but I don't know how to explain it. The Spirit of God was moving so strongly that at the end of the service a student came up to our speaker and as they talked the student decided to be baptized. So in the middle of the night everyone who was at the Crusade meeting walked over to the fountain and the student was baptized right then in front of everyone at the fountain. The Spirit of God hit him so hard that as soon as he got out of the water, he broke down in tears! Seriously? Is this really happening? Are we going to see the restoration of the New Testament church and Spirit of God break out like crazy?

I think so! Tonight, our speaker spoke from Luke 4:18-19 where Jesus reads a scripture from Isaiah 61. It states, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty tothe captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who were oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." We are in such a crazy season here at ASU. God is moving rapidly and this year is definitely the year of the Lord's favor. He has been awakening people to the depths of His love and equipping people with so many gifts of the Spirit.

I am so blown away. After experiencing such a season of brokenness, it is mind-boggling to see how God is restoring me and allowing me to be in the middle of such a crazy act of God. What's even more crazy is that after the baptism, a friend and I started talking and walking together through the campus. God led us to go to one of the spiritually darkest dorms on campus. As we talked, we each shared our hearts with one another and the burdens we had experienced over the summer. As we shared, the Spirit of God hit so hard once again. We literally experienced the tangible presence of God. His presence was so heavy, my friend had a hard time getting up after we prayed. But it was crazy because we were sitting in the middle of a busy section next to the dorm. There were so many people around us. They were talking, smoking, and hanging out by the spot. But as we sat and talked and prayed, the atmosphere around us quickly changed. It was like we didn't even care that we were openly talking and praying about God. So as we prayed, the place began to grow quieter as people left. It was like we were in the middle of this area shining light in the midst of darkness.

I don't know how to explain it, but as I talked and prayed over my friend the Spirit of God was there in the midst of us. We went on to go on to Mill Ave - the bar district and just bring the light of Christ to that area. We didn't get to talk to anyone there, but we brought the presence of God with us. Words can't really express how I'm feeling or what I experienced. But God showed up for us in such a big way.

During the Cru meeting today, I was wearing my glasses and I felt like I needed to take them off. As I took them I felt like God was saying you need to seeing with your eyes, and see with my eyes. As I looked around me everything was blurry and God asked me what I saw. At first I didn't really feel like I saw anything - everything was blurry. But then it occurred to me, I was seeing the faceless generation. God was showing me that this is the generation He is raising up to be a faceless, nameless army that is not concerned with honors or recognition but with making the presence of God known. He was also showing me that I needed to stop looking at people based on their appearance and start seeing them as God sees them. God was showing me that I needed to stop judging people based on appearance and see that we are all loved by God no matter what we look like.

God has been awakening me to the fact that there is so much brokenness in this world. I have been reminded that the brokenness I have felt in this last season has been just a taste of the brokenness God feels for this generation. He wants to raise up His army that will be shameless and blameless before Him. There is something so beautiful about brokenness because when we bring it before God he cannot refuse it. God is going to bind the broken hearts and set the captives free. We must move beyond our brokenness and see the need of our generation. So often we get so blinded by the callouses and scars in our lives that we fail to see the brokenness of the world around us.

God is good, and He is preparing our hearts for something. We must all remain patient, and we must not get discouraged. The road is difficult and the path is narrow. But God is guiding each step and is lighting up our path. God desires that His presence be made fully known in this generation, but the only way we can make His presence fully known is we ourselves experience His presence.

God, I pray that you would continue to awaken our hearts to your greater vision. Release your power and your presence upon your people. Touch our hearts and allow us to experience the warmth of your love. God, it is our desire to know your presence and make your presence fully known. Continue to raise up the laborers and the lovesick worshippers. God we pray for more baptisms and more radical encounters with your Holy Spirit. You truly are a live and you are raising up a faceless, nameless army. God we are willing to surrender all that we have out of extravagant devotion for the love that you have first shown us. We are hungry God. We are desperate for a touch of heaven. Heal our hearts and make us whole! Make us thirsty for living water. May our hearts abound with love for others from the overflow of your love upon! We are so joyous to be in your presence. We are so thankful that you have shown your favor upon your people. God, we want more of your presence, more of your love. Release your greater gifts upon this people. Allow us to know you more and more to seek you face to face. We will give up whatever it takes to see your name and renown be made known our campuses, cities, and nations. Give us a righteous desperation that cries out give us our campuses or we will die! God, we want to have a passion worth dying for. Because without a passion worth dying for, there is nothing worth living for. Lord, we live out of the passion that you first had for us. That while we were yet sinners, You died for us. Thank you for the cross. Thank you for you extravagant love. Let the true worshippers arise! We will worship you in Spirit and in Truth! We love you Abba Father! In Jesus Name we pray. Amen!

Power Surge

It's 5:10 in the morning. I must be crazy. But for some reason I can't sleep. I was awakened over half an hour ago because I was so restless. I kept thinking about Epic Movement and what our movement would look like. I kept thinking about the state of our Christian organizations and our church. I'm beginning to get so frustrated because we're not moving in the power of the Holy Spirit! What's wrong with us? As I lie in bed, thoughts and images started coming to my mind about my dorm room being filled with people. I saw myself ministering to people I didn't know. I saw myself meeting with people who were eager to meet me. I have been so worried about the people God would raise up to contend for revival on this campus, but as these images came to my mind, God was reminding me that He was bringing the people to me.

As I have been reading through the book Organic Church lately, I have begun to realize that I"m going crazy over seeing the church restored to it's original state like the book of Acts. I don't know what to say, and I don't think words can express this frustration I have been experiencing. I think this frustration stems from the fact that this summer I witnessed what true community could look like; I experienced what transformational relationships could look like; I saw what church could like. But then I came back home and I realized nothing had changed. Things were essentially the same, but in me, the passion for seeing the church restored has grown even deeper. Now, don't get me wrong, God is moving in mighty ways in our campuses and churches, but there still seems to be a lack of power in what we do. We still seem to underestimate the mighty power of God, and we still seem reluctant to forfeit our reputations and move in the things God is calling us to.

In our churches and Christian organizations, we have overlooked those in desperate need of the gospel. Our ministries have only been reaching 5percent of the population. On average of that 5percent, 95 percent are Christians. Who is going to the students who need Christ the most? Who is going to the lost? Who is going to the poor, the oppressed, the brokenhearted? As I read through Organic Church, I am reminded of the different types of soils. Some soil is fertile and some are not so much. We must waken up to the chilling reality that most fertile soil is usually the most dangerous and the most broken people. Yet, it is as if we are disregarding the true needs of the people and overlooking those who are in the greatest need.

This summer, I had a crazy dream that God really spoke to me through. In the dream, I was alone in my aunt's house during a time of fasting and prayer. While in the dream, I awoke to see everything around me completely different. I walked around the house and found my mom, my aunt, and my grandmother to be there. I was really confused and realized that it was a spiritual attack. I began praying over the house and rebuking the evil spirits. I then fervently began prayer walking throughout the entire house going up and down the halls and through the rooms. I felt almost a sense of accomplishment towards the end of the prayer time.

All of a sudden, the doorbell rang. At the door was a Dominoes pizza delivery guy. I was shocked and even frightened that someone was at the door. The guy knocked pretty intensely and finally somehow got into the house. As we talked, I somehow found out he was sent by God. So with this in mind, I asked him how I did prayer-walking throughout the house. In my mind, I had done well to pray over the house and rebuke the evil spirits. However, I was surprised when he in turn rebuked me. He had said that I had missed out on something even more important.

He led me into the house and went into a room where there was a family. I was shocked to realize that I had not seen this room and that there was a family in the very house I was staying in. The family included a mother, a father, and two boys. Apparently, the younger boy was very sick and if the guy didn't come and touch the boy, he might have died. I was so stunned to think that I had missed out on such a huge thing. As we left the room and the dominoes pizza guy was leaving, I thought to myself I know what I must do.

At that time, I didn't really know what that meant, but it is becoming clearer to me each and every day. I have since told this dream to many people. I told it to my church during a prayer meeting and was overwhelmed to see people moved by the spirit into tears as I gave the interpretation and prayed. Later, I told a dream to some friends, and they gave some interesting interpretations.

See the family in the dream was a Hispanic family. I got the impression that they were illegal immigrants. Also, the dominoes delivery guy himself was Hispanic. As I told this dream to a friend, she drew my attention to the need to reach the Hispanic community. They have been so left out and so disregarded. God was showing me that I was so consumed in "ministry" and in doing all these things that even in my time of prayer I had overlooked those who needed Christ the most. How many times in our ministry and in our evangelism have we failed to bring the Gospel to those that need it the most. We have been so consumed by our programs and strategies that we have been blinded to the true needs and hardships of our own community. All around us people are hurting and experiencing pain, yet we don't see them. Why don't' we see them? Why have we ignored those who are most in pain?

Then a chilling reality hit me. As I told this dream to the leader of the 24-7 prayer movement at ASU, he told me that he thinks the dominoes guy and the family come to represent something really significant. He said that he thinks that when we as a church go and reach out to the Hispanic community, the illegal immigrants who have been disregarded - this community that has experienced so much pain and rejection - then we in turn will see a domino effect. How desperate are we in need for a movement of God in our church. I pray that God will bring this domino effect as we open our eyes to the true reality of the situation that is in our campuses, cities, and nations. I confess that I myself have been blind and probably still am blind to great needs of those around me. But this has to change. We must do something to remedy this need for the love of God to be made known to the unreached sectors of our society.

In his book Organic Church, Neil Cole speaks to this need to seek the good soil and open up our eyes to bring the Gospel to those who need it the most. He says, "Jesus had an interesting conversation with His disciples in John 4:27-38. He had just opened the spiritual eyes of a Samaritan woman with a bad reputation to understand who He truly was. She went back to her village to tell everyone that she had met the Messiah. The entire village poured out to meet Jesus as He was discussing the harvest of souls with His disciples. He said, "Do you not say, 'There are yet four months, and then comes the harvest? Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look on the fields, that they are white for harvest." Of course, the Jews of His day would never have imagined that Samaritans would be a good place for the Gospel, but Jesus did. He pointed to the multitude of Samaritans flooding out of the village to find the Messiah, all dressed in traditional white Samaritan garments, and said, "Look, the fields are white for harvest, if you would only begin to look in places you would least expect" (my paraphrase).
Even though many today will be wearing black, they are truly white (or ripe) for a harvest. We must begin to look in places where traditionally the church would never go, for the spread of the Gospel."

After reading this passage, I began to see more significantly what God was speaking to me through my dream. The harvest is truly plentiful; we must but open our eyes and go to the places we least expected to go - the places others are fearful to attempt to minister to. We must step out of our comfort zones, and we must be willing to sacrifice our reputations.

As I woke up this morning, I looked at my phone and saw an email I received from a Christian network. I opened it up, and it mentioned a few seminars and conferences on the way to Phoenix, but I was especially surprised to see some workshops for power evangelism. As I read this, I was reminded of Jaeson Ma's book the Blueprint where he talks about a passion for power evangelism. So with that in mind, I went and grabbed my copy of the Blueprint. Ironically enough, there was a bookmark in the book that was right in the section entitled, "Passion for Power Evangelism." Haha, God is good isn't he? As I read over the section, the words truly resonated in my Spirit. Jaeson wrote about his frustration with the church and one passage in particular caught my eye. Jaeson wrote:

"I became so desperate last week that I simply prayed the prayer of Jeremiah 6:16, which says, "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it, and you will find rest for you souls." I lost it. I dropped everything and went back to the place of prayer. For days on end I sought only God's presence in the morning and through the night. I found rest for my soul. I found His presence, and He had become everything once again. The only way I could describe how it felt and how I feel at this moment is, "completely satisfied and utterly dissatisfied."
I am completely satisfied in His presence, but I am utterly dissatisfied with the state of Christianity in my generation. Oh God, Oh God.... if you don't do something, I don't know what else to do!"

And that about sums it up for me.... I don't have anything else to really add. We need a power surge in our churches and on our campuses. We must stop walking in our own wise words and strategies and move in the power of the Holy Spirit. Paul said, "My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power" (1 Cor. 2:4-5).

We need the spirit of God to move in our midst. We need to contend for revival in our generation. We must commit to a radical lifestyle of 24-7 prayer and fasting. This prayer and fasting must move us to action. We must ask God to open our spiritual eyes and see the true need of the lost in our campuses, cities, and nations. We must be willing to say no to the legitimate pleasures of the world for the extreme pleasures of knowing God. We must be willing to put our reputations on the line for the sake of making the Gospel known. We must come know God more fully every day and make Him more fully known.

I don't know what this all means for me at this point. I know God is stirring up something in me that cannot be easily quieted. I am like a volcano ready to burst. All the frustrations and confusion of this past few weeks have been driving me even crazier, even more desperate for divine intervention from God. We need a touch from heaven. We need God's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.

As I watch the sun rise over Arizona State University, I can only pray that this is the dawning of a new season - a new season of prayer, power evangelism, and the planting of simple churches. God is inviting us into something special. We can no longer deny his presence. We must soak in His presence daily and live a lifestyle of prayer. God is on the move. Will you be a part of it?

God, we are in desperate need of a power surge. The church is in the midst of a blackout. We have been going on without your power for so long. Draw us back to your heart. Draw us back to our first love. God, we want to move in all that you have destined us to be; all that you have called us to do. Help us to live out of our identity - that we are loved by God and called to a purpose. God, I pray that we would be like David and fulfill all the purposes that you have called us to for our generation. Help us not to turn our hearts or eyes from you. Open our eyes to the greater need. Help us to move in your Spirit, in your power. Do something in this generation God. We cannot stand to see our world broken and falling apart. We are helpless on our own. Our words and are actions are not enough. Your power and your presence alone are what we need to draw our generation back to you. Bring us back to the foot of the cross. Remind us of the power of the cross - that while we were yet sinners you died for us. Bring us back to our first love. You alone can satisfy the needs - our need for love, our need for significance. Wake up the church. Wake up your sleeping beauty. Let the lights not longer remain dim. Let us shine bright and let the whole world see your beauty, your majesty. We will no longer hide our lights beneath the baskets. We will boldly proclaim the truth of your love. We need a power surge Lord Jesus. Breathe life back into our lungs! In Jesus name, Amen.

Woo... what a weekend!?

Wow, I don't even know what's been happening to me the last few weeks, days, hours. I feel like I have been getting out of my slump, only to be again knocked on my face by another trial and spiritual attack. But is good, and he definitely has been faithful. Even though I've been really confused and frustrated in this season, I know that God is showing me a lot and is preparing me for something. It's hard to deal with things like jealousy, pride, and comparison sometimes. But in a strange way, it's really good to be broken more and more each day. I know that I still have more work to do because there is still so much of me that struggles with the weakness of my flesh.

But anyhoo, on a lighter note. This Friday we had our first Epic meeting. It was, well, amazing! God began something that night, but it definitely did not come without a cost. But in the end, I know that God did something Friday night that He is going to continue to cultivate and grow in His timing. A group of about 17 of gathered to just worship and seek God. As we worshipped, I really sensed a burden among our group. I felt like our worship and praise was somewhat forced. As we came to the end of the worship set, I knew that I could not allow everyone to leave without encountering what God wanted to do in our hearts. I prayed over the group, and as I prayed God the presence of God definitely began moving. The whole atmosphere began to change as people began to be lead by the spirit and putting away their burdens. People began to cry out to God and sing spontaneous songs.

I know we have a long way to go still, but more and more each day God is showing me the need to be led by His Spirit and allow others to experience the power and freedom that comes from being in His presence. So often in our small groups and churches, we have failed to leave space for the spontaneity of the Spirit to take place. We go to church and yet, we often leave empty and even more unsatisfied. I don't want to see a church where we fail to experience the movement of the presence each time we meet. I want to see simple churches raised up - churches that will throw away the agenda and the programs and listen to the Spirit. We need to raise up and empower leaders to be led by the Spirit and experience the goodness He has to offer. I want to see transformation.

It was great to see what God did on Friday night. But I know that I will never truly have it figured out. There is a long road ahead, and it requires continually dying to myself every day. I must give up my conceptions of what it should look like or who should be there. I must not look with human eyes, but I must look with spiritual eyes for the soil that is fertile and receptive to bearing a thirty-fold, sixty-fold, and even one hundred-fold abundance. It's going to take a lot of heart surgery and humility to allow God to completely take over. But I know that in the end, His will is the best.

So anyway, it was great to see God move on Friday night. Afterward, one of my friends walked in during the end of our service and ended up giving a prophetic word to me and to my brother and his friend. My brother and his friend are an amazing testimony to God raising up laborers and revolutionaries to make an impact in our generation. They are composing new songs - prophetic outcries that will waken up our generation. They are both culturally relevant and spiritually empowered to change the world for Jesus. It's great to see what God will do through them to revolutionize the media and the arts and our society as a whole.

But the reality of spiritual attack became even more evident after such an amazing encounter with God. As we were picking up some stuff in my dorm, we came back to find that one of our tires had been slashed. The car we were driving was my brothers. The tire that got slashed was only on the right side. I feel as if God is showing us that our ministries especially my brother's is under attack, and Satan is trying to take out our right-side - our partners. We must remain vigilant and aware of the spiritual darkness that overcomes us. But like it say in James 1, we must count it all joy when we face trials of many kind because it produces perseverance. Also, we must also take hold of the promises found in Psalms 91. Even though we are under attack and our right-hand men and women are in danger, God offers us a promise. "A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not com near you. you will only look with you eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place - the Most High, who is my refuge - no evil shall befall you, no plague come near your tent." (Psalms 91:7-10).

God is doing some crazy things at ASU. The whole idea of tents is another story. Just this past weekend, a huge storm came by that knocked down a multi-million indoor sport's facility which essentially was a huge tent. We really feel that God is breaking down the old regime and the old covering over ASU. God wants to establish His covering over the campus. As I read over Isaiah 22:15-25 , I think that it might be speaking to this situation. But I also am reminded of Luke 10:17-20, "The seventy-two returned with joy saying, "Lord even the demons are subject to us in your name!" Ad he said to them, I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."

This passage speaks so much to me because I feel that as these storm are coming Satan is loosing his grip over the campus. Nevertheless, now more than ever, we must not rejoice in the triumphs we have been experiencing. We must instead rejoice because we are loved by God. This alone is the one truth that we must hold on to. Satan can steal our health, our families, our homes, our possession, but he can never take away our love. We must daily be reminded that it is our intimacy with Christ that sustains us and offers us true hope in the midst of darkness. God is working in wondrous and mysterious ways on our campuses. He is empowering us to do great things for Him. But at the end of the day, all of the gifts and all of the power falls void if we exalt the gifts and not the giver. Intimacy with Christ will allow us to keep on moving. We must not rejoice because we are gifted; we must rejoice because we are loved. Even in the face of fear and the darkness of the current season, we must hold strong. Perfect love casts out all fear. Live out of Love.

God, we know that you are the author and perfecter of our faith. We know you are faithful to keep us from falling. Above all, we know you are a God of love. You are a true hope and our true satisfaction. May we never lose sight of the cross. You are our redeemer and our friend. As the world spins around seemingly out of control, we know you are in control and hold the whole world in your hands. You are the hope of all eternity, and so we set our eyes on you. "Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 24)

just a little rant...

God, Where do I go, Father? I'm so confused. Nothing seems right. Everything seems like its going out of control. I don't even know what to do or what to say. Inside me, I feel like conflicting emotions are battling out. I feel like my Spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak. I can't handle this inner tension. Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to explode. I am discontent. Why? Maybe, because i've seen what the church could like. I've seen what true transformational community could look like. I've seen what true love could look like in friendship and with community. But here I am back at square one, and all around me I see pain and turmoil. This burden runs deep. It bites to my soul. I'm so discontented thinking about the pain my friends and family face on a daily basis. I'm so discontented with the way things are. Even as a I look at myself in the mirror, I see brokenness, pain, and conflicting emotions. On one hand my Spirit cries out for revival; it is crying out to release this passion within me that is dying to be unleashed. On the other hand, my flesh is weak. I have experienced the attrition of the summer. I've been beaten up and tossed around. My body aches, illness consumes my body, my lungs burned by a relentless cough. I can't sleep at night. I am so restless, yet so tired and confused. I can't wake up in the morning - my body trying to catch up from the experiences of the past. So much to think about. So much to process. So little time. Yet the world continues - continues in wallowing in it's pain. What are we doing about it? Hurricanes are devastating people of Louisiana, children in Africa are dying of aids, innocent children being sex-trafficked everyday. Classmates are struggling with depression, drug dependence, eating disorders. Families are being torn by divorce, abuse, death, pain. And what are we doing to reach out the lost and the dying? Do we recognize the pain they go through each and every day? Do we recognize that the pain is right in front of us, right beside us, even inside of us?

God, you have awakened me to the reality of this injustice. I have been so consumed with myself that I have been oblivious to the true condition of humanity. Who is standing up for the illegal immigrants, who is willing to be the the voice for the voiceless, who are the ones willing to stand up for the unborn? And yet, here we are as a generation paralyzed and oblivious to the debilitating condition of humanity because we are lost in our own pain and hurt. God where is the true biblical community? Where are those who are willing to stand in the gap? Where are those who truly care for the lost, the dying, the oppressed. Forgive me God, for I have failed you. I have looked at the lost and said they are not good enough for our churches. I have looked at the oppressed and said they are not worthy. I have condemned the very people you want me to care for. I have turned my back on those who are truly in need. I have been starstruck by the possibilities of great programs and institutions. I have reveled at what it would like to change the world. But the world will never be changed as long as we are still blind. I have been blinded by my lack of love. God, I am so discontented. How could I have been so blind to the true pain and hurt this world experiences every day. I have been blinded by my pride, my self-righteousness, and even my ambition. I want to change the world, but we can't change the world unless you first change our hearts. Bring our hearts back to submission. Bring our hearts back to our first love.

As I sit here so discontented, so frustrated so confused, I know that I am under constant spiritual attack. My body and my spirit are in constant opposition, and the weakness of my body is constantly winning out over my Spirit. Yet in this all, I see the greater plan that is in all this. We can't love until we take off our blinders. We can't love unless we recognize the condition. We can't love until in our own brokenness we are broken in compassion. We can't empathize until we feel their pain. God it hurts! How can we let the innocent die in vain? How can we let them fall without their voice being heard? How can we allow them to isolate themselves in depression while the rest of us parade with our fake smiles and facades!

God, I am so sorry for being blind - being blind to the need of the world, being blind to my need for you. So often, I get so caught up in my accolades and achievements. But those are all nothing in comparison of your overwhelming glory. God, may I truly be able to count as loss all that I once counted as gain. Tear down my pride, my ego, my sense of self. All those things are worth nothing. My gifts and my talents, my achievements and my pride will never change the world. As much as I would like to try to force my will onto others, I know in the end it is all futile. You alone can change hearts. You alone can institute change. You alone can bring satisfaction. You alone can change my heart and give me a fresh new start.

God, I give my life to revival because I am discontented with the current way of the world. I see pain, corruption, and loneliness, and there is nothing I can do about it. The burden overwhelms me, and I am driven to paralysis. I can't move because I realize that the same pain the world feels I feel inside too. I can't help the world because I have the same problem. I need you. You are the answer. You are the solution. You are the remedy. We are hopeless without you. But God, I will give my life to you - not for the sake of revival in and of itself. Revival is not the solution in and of itself. Jesus is the answer. And so I give my life to Christ because there in lies the only solution. Drugs, sex, food, relationships - they only satisfy temporarily. I have felt the pressure, the burden - it's not easy. But I will never compromise my true love! God, may you hold me secure and never let me go. Keep me from temptation and falling into evil. The pain and the difficulty is huge. But you are even bigger.

I tried to run this race on my own for far too long. God, I'm in need of you. I'm in need of your people. Raise up your laborers. Raise up your lovesick worshippers. Raise up your army. God may you empower us to fight injustice, to bind the brokenhearted, to set the captives free. We can no longer stand to see abortion, depression, and sexual immorality. God, we are under constant attack. Satan wants our friends, families, and homes. But greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world! So even when hardships overcome us and we are knocked down to our knees, we know that we are stronger because you have overcome the world. God, we count int all joy when we face trials of many kind because we know that the testing of our faith produces perseverance. God, we know that all things work out together for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. God we know that you will bring into completion that great work you have started in us.

We will never back down. We will never surrender. For to live is Christ, and to die is gain! Let the generation be awakened! Let the true worshippers arise! We will worship in spirit and truth. We will no longer remain silent! God, come to our rescue. The trials are growing more difficult. The enemy is mocking us. Be faithful to the righteous.

God, my heart is in your hands. You are my true romance; my lone satisfaction. You consume my heart and my soul. You are on my mind all day long. I desire to never leave your presence. I am overwhelmed by your love. Help me to remember your faithfulness to me. Guide my every step. My life is in you Lord. I have nowhere else to go. I have turned my back to the world because it had nothing to offer me. You alone offer Living Water that lasts for an eternity. Rain your Living Water upon our land. Water the desert. Bring healing to our hearts. Bring healing to our land.

"By this I know that you delight in me: my enemy will not shout in triumph over me. But you have upheld me because of my integrity, and set me in your presence forever. Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting!
Amen and Amen." (Psalm 41:11-13)