Growing up

So I've been kind of slacking on my blog lately. It's for a variety of reasons. I've been pretty busy with school, and I've been experiencing a lot of mood swings and brokenness in this current season. But in the midst of it all God has been good. It's weird to think that today I am 21 years old! Weird. I never really saw myself being at this point of my life. I mean I never thought that at 21 years of age, I would have given up all my dreams and ambitions and been sold out for Jesus. If you told me before I went into college that I would be a crazy Jesus freak at the age of 21 and forfeited my desires to be a doctor and an engineer, I would have thought you were crazy. Well, I guess I am crazy because here I am today, 21 years old and crazy for Jesus.

It's been a great journey, and I have learned so much. I look back it all and realize that God has truly been in the midst of every situation and every decision. As I enter a new chapter of my life, I realize that there are lots of challenges and twists along the way. But I'm excited - excited because I get to embark on a new adventure with God at the forefront of my life. I don't know where this journey will take me, and I don't know what exactly to expect. But one thing is for sure. I expect the best. See, I have traded in the good and the great in pursuit of the best. In that process, I have had to give up a lot of good - no great - things including dreams, ambitions, reputation, and relationships. But I have no regrets. Good and great are the enemies of the best. Life can be good and it can be great, but why settle for anything less than the best.

I will not be content until I see the presence of God made fully known in my generation and the generations to come. I will not be content until I see the fulfillment of the Great Commandment and Great Commission. But one thing I will find satisfaction in is knowing and dwelling in the presence of my almighty God. I have tasted and I have seen the goodness of God's love, and I'm addicted to His presence! I want more of God for all of me and for all of this generation. We owe it to our generation to experience the love and power of God. Our churches and our organizations have diminished the power of God for too long. We must move in His power and dwell in His presence. We must stop getting excited merely about our Christianity; but instead we must get excited because we serve a great God who is loving and compassionate and cares for the every need of His people.

I've learned a lot in just the last few weeks. I wish I would have been more diligent in posting. The enemy has definitely tried to steal my joy and my experiences. I've experienced some of the most encouraging and discouraging moments in the past couple of weeks. I've experienced sadness, loneliness, and isolation. But I've also experienced joy, love, and the power of community. In the midst of feeling isolated and misunderstood, I have seen the power of community. Last Thursday, I was so encouraged to hang out with some brothers in Christ after Crusade and here the similar struggles and frustrations that we are going through. I really feel as if Satan is trying keep us isolated and apart. But there is power in community. Earlier this week, we had revival prayer night at the chapel, and afterward, we were hit with the joy of the Lord and began laughing uncontrollably.

Epic has been pretty amazing too, but that's a whole other story in itself. God has been doing crazy things through Epic. I've seen crazy transformation in peoples lives in just 3 weeks. I see people who love and care for one another, who cook for one another, pray for one another, and so much more. I will have to describe more fully what we are doing in Epic this semester, but it's something that's definitely of God. I mean just tonight at our meeting I felt the presence of God touch us in an amazing way today as we waited for Him in prayer. God is doing good things.

I don't really know how to express what I'm feeling right now. I feel like have so much to say and so much to catch up on, but not enough time. I'm just really tired and need to get to bed now. I've been committed to early morning prayer and meditation thanks to my brother in Christ who helps keep me accountable. But ya, right now in my life, I feel like I'm still in this season of refinement where God is leading me to greater discipline and intentionality. Things that I usually could get away with in the past, I now either get attacked in or experience a lot of difficulties with.

But God has been faithful in it all. It definitely has been a time of transition and adjustment. I'm still in the process of adjusting through so many things that I experienced this summer and just in the last 9 months. It's been a crazy ride, but I'm excited to see what God does at the end of it. I have so much to process and write about for just the past few weeks. But in due time, I know God will bring it together. For now, I must continue to wait on Him and seek His will in all things. What a crazy ride. I feel like I'm getting so old. I guess this is the process of growing up.

God, I don't know what's next. I don't know what's going on right now. My life seems so crazy and all-over the place in this season. But I'm encouraged by your people. The stories you are writing in others' lives is an encouragement to me. God, I pray that you will continue to write me story. I want to be led by your spirit,by your will. I pray that you will awaken a generation to recognize the depths of your love. I pray that you will raise up a generation that will stand in the gap. God give us one, pure and holy passion. May we seek to know your presence and make your presence known. In the midst of brokenness and uncertainty, you remain sovereign. You are a God of love and mercy - a God of grace. As I grow older, I pray I may grow wiser and more discerning. Open my heart and my eyes to the injustices of this world. Open my heart to more of your love. God, may I continue to grow walking in your paths. May I build my foundation on solid rock. You are my cornerstone. You are my foundation. God raise up a generation of young ones who will fall in love with you even in their youth. 12 not 21! Raise up a generation of lovesick worshippers at 12 not 21. You have blessed me greatly God but will you empower the younger generation to do even more. Let your sons and daughters arise. Let the little children come to you! We want more 12 year old that will burn with Holy passion. We give this generation to you, O Lord. Complete the work that you have started. In Jesus Name. Amen!