Holy Laughter

Hahahaha....ahh the Lord is good. I just got back from the 24hr prayer house. I think we are in the third week of 24hr prayer. Monday is always the highlight of my week. Every Monday from 7:00pm - 9:00pm, we have all campus worship. Students from all over the campus come together to worship and pray. It's crazy powerful. Haha the our little chapel gets so packed sometimes there are people standing and worshipping from the outside. Woot! Jesus is good! So anyway, if you can't tell, I'm really hyped up on Jesus right now. It's so awesome how Jesus can take away your burdens and frustrations and fill you with some holy laughter. Man, the joy of the Lord is my strength. So after all campus worship today, one of the main prayer leaders came looking for me and as usual pumped me up with my weekly, Monday dose of Holy Spirit laughter. I'm a sucker every time. But it's soo good to laugh and let lose the hardships of life. We laughed and prayed for so long after the 9:00 service. I'm still laughing hahaha..... mmmm Jesus. hahahaha hahaha. hahaha....God is so good.

Anyway, so we ended up getting in a big circle outside the chapel and people started praying for one another and the holy laughter just started spreading. Hahaha...during the service, one of the prayer leaders gave a cool word from God about how God was setting up traps all around the campus. People would fall into these traps and encounter the love of God. As we were in our circle praying, I was watching people walk by and just started laughing because they were getting trapped in the love of God. There is no escape! Yay! Hahaha.....then we went to the prayer tent on the side of the chapel and did a prayer tunnel where we prayed for one another. Oh, but before that, while we were in our circle we started yelling and declaring freedom and love to the campus. One of my friends walked up to us while we were doing this, and he said that he could hear us from two streets down. haahaha.....oh man. We made a lot of noise tonight. Then after this, we went to the middle of the Hayden Lawn. Our library is underground so we want on top of the lawn where the library was underneath and started praying and declaring the love of God over the campus. As we were there, some fraternity boys passed by and one of the guys went up to them and asked if we could pray for them. Then while we were on the lawn praying and making a lot of noise. A guy on his bike stopped and came and joined us. He was really stressed out and we were able to pray for him. While this was going on, one of the main prayer leaders was praying for someone who just overcame depression through the grace of God and was now breaking down at the awesome presence of God!

Woot! Ya, so now I'm back home recording all the goodness of God. I don't want to let these memories get lost or stolen. But anyhoo, this season of 24 hour prayer has been interesting. I felt called to pray in the morning, so I signed up for the 7am - 9am shift every morning. Gosh, I dont know what I was thinking. But it's been harder than I expected haha. Overall, it has been good, but it is a struggle every morning waking up and it is hard sometimes because I'm usually the only one there. Many days, I have been so tired and restless and not knowing why I'm even awake and in the prayer houses. So many times I have fallen asleep and felt really dumb and embarrassed. Mostly, it has been pretty hard. I'm trying to get more disciplined and give God all areas of my life. But ya I've definitely been struggling with this one. But I know God is working, and I trust that God will one day release his signs and wonders in the morning and midday for all to see His glory. It's hard because since I signed up for the early morning shifts, I can't be there during the night. During the night, crazy things have happened here. There has been crazy deliverance and healing. I mean I got my first prophetic word a year ago during the wee hours of the night. God has truly taken back the night at ASU, and it's hard because I haven't been able to experience that awesomeness in the night. But I know that God has called me to the morning, and the prayers and laboring in the morning will release God's blessings of the night onto the midday!

But anyway, despite the hardships of the morning. I have experienced some pretty cool things. On the first day of 24 hour prayer, I was really excited so I stayed almost 7 hours or something. During that time, I got to pray for a lot of different people. One person in particular came in and started pouring out his soul to one of my friends. I came over and he started telling us how he had really been praying for a child. He hadn't been able to have a child with his wife for 7 years. As he talked he broke down in tears. I read to him 1 Samuel 1 where Hannah prays that God would grant her a child. After I read this to him, we prayed over him, and he broke down even further. It was a powerful moment.

Than a couple of Fridays ago. I had a really strange experience. I was really tired and was just lying on the chairs. As I lay there, the word Joel popped in my head. So, I opened my Bible and started reading Joel, but I was too tired so I put it down and lay down again. While I was laying down, the date 8/16 popped in my head. I was like ookkk....weird. So I looked at my journal and tried to figure out what 8/16 was. After reading through my journal, I realized that 8/16 was the day of the CALL DC. To make things even crazier that day I was wearing my t-shirt that my youth group made for the CALL DC that we held in the church. So in a matter of moments, I realized that the main verses of the CALL is found in Joel, and the CALL DC was held on 8/16 and I was wearing my t-shirt from the CALL DC that my youth group made. If that's not strange enough, that night we were traveling to Prescott for Crusades Fall Retreat. As we were driving, I noticed that there was a Red Moon! The Red Moon instantly reminded me of the book Red Moon Rising which is based on a verse in Joel 2! Weird! Hahaha....hmmm so ya I don't know exactly what all this means. But I'm praying about possibly going to the CALL California on November 1 in San Diego. I talked to one of my friends about it, and he said that there might be some kind of impartation that God has for me there or something. Who knows...but it sure is some exciting stuff! Yay God!

So ya, God has been doing some crazy stuff here. I mean I just look at Epic, and wow, God is on the move. But that's a whole separate post in itself that requires a lot of story-telling and what. I'll leave that for another day. And don't worry I will get to it! Epic has definitely been a highlight in my life at this point and such a blessing from God. I've been meaning to write about it and update lots of people. But I have yet to get to it; but no worries, I will!

Anyhoo, I say all this good stuff because I'm on a Jesus high right now! But that doesn't change the pain and the brokenness that I have felt in the past few weeks and months. I realize that lately I have tried to go so fast and so hard, but I haven't been fully healed and recovered from everything that has happened this summer. Today, I was writing in my journal and expressing to God the pain I felt from losing an important relationship in my life. I thought I had gotten over it, but just when I thought I was strong, I found myself to be really weak. It's been so hard toiling on this campus. It has been so hard praying early in the morning and working hard to see the presence of God move in Epic and at ASU. I've been trying so hard, yet in the midst of that striving, I think I have tried to cover up the pain that I have been feeling. It's hard to admit that I'm weak and vulnerable. It's hard to admit that I don't have it all together. But I'm learning that I must rely fully on God, and I must lean on my brother and sister in Christ that I have here.

Sometimes, I get really frustrated because I feel that people here don't really care and understand me like I have been understood and cared for in the past. I get really frustrated because I feel like over the summer and the few months preceding that my life was on fast forward mode. Coming back to school and the normal routine of things, I feel like my life has come back to normal speed. So what I am experiencing now though in real time, feels like it is in slow motion. I get so frustrated with the people around me. I have tasted and seen what true community and awesome relationship looks like. I have experienced a transformational relationship, and I experienced what it was like to see iron sharpen iron. But in this season, I have had to learn patience. I have had to learn humility. I have had to learn to rely on God and to trust in the community of believers God has surrounded me here. I cannot long to have something or someone I can't have at this time. It hurts a lot, and it's really hard to move on. But that God is working and planning things long term, and I do not want to compromise my future or the future of those who I care about because of my own selfish desires.

I trust that God is working in my life and in the lives of those around me. God is bigger than me. He is bigger than the words that I say. He is bigger than my actions. He is bigger than my knowledge which is so insignificant compared to the depths of His wisdom and understanding. I am in a season right now where I am so needy. I am so needy for love, for attention from the heart of God and the heart of others. I have a hard time giving out and ministering because my soul is desperate need of ministering too. But you know what, I'm okay with that. At least for now, I know that I will continue to struggle with it and have difficult days. There will be days when I cry to express passions that are aching in my soul to those who mean the most to me. But God has placed us where we are for a reason. He has placed us in this time in history for a special reason. God has raised us up to be like Esther "for such a time as this." He has raised us up to be like Daniel to be "resolved" in our hearts to passionately pursue the work of the Lord. We are like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. We are being thrown into the fire with no promise of being brought back together and alive. But we go passionately and fervently into the flames anyway because we know that our God is bigger than anything we can ask for or desire on this earth.

That is the generation that God has called us to be. We are the generation that has been called to lay down a foundation for the future generations. We are the generation that will stand in the gap and throw ourselves headlong into flames not knowing what will happen to us or if we will even come out alive. But we are called to something more than ourselves. We have died to the things of this world. We are dead people walking. When wood is dead, it burns and catches on fire rapidly and easily. We are the catalysts for God's consuming fire for our generation. God, send your down. Bring comfort to our hearts. Burn away anything that keeps us from serving you fully. You are sovereign, O Lord. You are good. I have no idea what I am doing. I have no idea what words to say. I'm in need of your ministering and healing touch to my soul. God will you touch the souls of those around me who are in need of God's restoration and healing!

This prayer goes out to those who I hold dearest to my heart, you know who you are. God, I pray that you would bring healing and restoration to our souls. Awaken a generation to know the depths of your love. I know the hearts of Your children break. But your love knows no bounds! Your love is the glue that holds us together! Your love is the unbreakable bond that will allow nothing to get in between You and those who you love. Your love is greater than any relationship, any material thing. Your love cats out perfect fear! Your love restores our souls! Your love satisfies. God, you did not created us to be a lone. God, you created your people to be in community. I pray that you would raise up a church, a body of believers who would care for one another. I pray that you raise up brothers and sisters who will walk in the fullness of they are in Christ. I pray for those who are hurting deep inside experiencing the loss of those who they hold dearest. God, you bring joy and laughter in the morning. You restore your people and give us new songs. God, in your time, you will exalt us. In your time, you will make all things new. In your time, you will work out all things for the better because we love you and trust you. God, give us a childlike faith. Help us with our unbelief. We believe Lord that you are faithful. We belief Lord that you are just. No matter how long it takes, I know you will bring your plan into full completion. I know that you see things that we cannot see! God, my heart breaks every time I think about what was lost. But God, let us count everything as loss whatever we once gained. God the one thing we desire is to know you! We want to know you! Let us live lives dedicated to one thing. God one thing we desire. We want to know your beauty - to know your presence. Fill us Lord! Fill us Lord! Fill us Lord! You are our lone satisfaction! God, we will go into the fire and hardships of life without doubting the greatness of who you are. Even if we don't' get what we expect, we know that what you offer is greater! God, you have written our love stories because you are our true love! God, first love, first love, first love - bring us back to our first love. You are all we want! You are all we need! May this be the cry of the generation you are rising up in the midst of us. The stories they tell will revitalize this land and be springs of water to our souls. There are stories will be straight from the heart of God. They will be stories of healing, of deliverance, of transformation. This is the year of the Lord's favor. This is the generation God has chosen for me. We need you Jesus! You are all our heart is beating for! In Jesus, might name, Amen.