Dream Part 2

In the past few months specifically the past few weeks, I feel like God has been showing me what it means to love again. It's weird because last summer I had this crazy dream in which God really convicted my heart for the need to love my family and those who I have often overlooked and forgotten. Yet despite this eye-opening experience, I still found myself caught up in my own selfish ambitions and desires. I found myself radically pursuing after God but alienating all those around me. I didn't understand what it meant to truly love people for who they were. I was looking out for myself even though I thought I knew how to love others. Being in a relationship with Sara has really opened up my eyes to the ways in which I really must step out of my comfort zones to love not only her but those around me. It definitely has been a learning process because I definitely don't have it down. As I was reading Sara's latest blog tonight, I was reminded of a dream that I had this past week that God used to really open my eyes to what it means to love others.

It's so crazy to think about how much we take for granted being loved. For instance, just last night at our Epic meeting, our group had a discussion about how we like to receive love and how we give love. It was amazing to see the different ways people desire to receive love from others. It was interesting to think that many times people don't feel loved because they do not receive love the way that they expect or truly need. For instance, I really like to receive love through being appreciated and being encouraged. I like to give love by making time and effort to be there for people in ways that are more subtle and unseen. I am an introverted person so I really like being alone and separating myself to think about things. At times, it is really hard for me to make time to talk to people and be with them. So spending quality time with people is a way that show I love. I am beginning to become more physically affectionate as well and show love through touch. Yet, I only do that to certain people who I am really close to and really care for. So all this to say, I am learning a lot, but I have so much more to learn.

Anyways, to the dream... So last week I had this crazy dream that really disturbed and confused my spirit. I woke up not knowing what the dream meant, and it was so creepy that I i felt really uncomfortable. In the dream, I was either watching a movie or reading a book. There was a father and a daughter. The daughter was a cute, little girl. If you have seen the movie Bella, she reminded me of that little girl. She was so young, naive, and innocent. The father was trying to teach the girl how to say the alphabet. The girl kept messing up and getting the letters mixed up. The girl would start off well, but she would switch letters around like she was dyslexic or something.

Soon the father began to become frustrated with the daughter. He began to try different methods to help his daughter learn the alphabet. Everything he tried didn't work. He got more and more frustrated. As I was watching this unfold, I decided to fast forward to the end to see what happened. As I continued to watch the story unfold, I saw the father becoming so frustrated with his daughter that he began to take drastic measures in trying to teach her to say the alphabet correctly. He soon resorted to shock therapy in order to "shock" his daughter into the right mindset. It was as if the father thought that electrical shocks would cure his daughter's dyslexia and her difficulty in saying the alphabet.

However, the shock treatment had devastating affects. Instead of curing the daughter, the electrical treatment caused her to become delusional and crazy. The daughter began to act schizophrenic and behaved as if she was demon-possessed. She had become disillusioned by the father's tactics to teach her the alphabet that in anger she began to create her own alphabet. She named random things and even mentioned things like the Church of Christine (which was her name) and communism. She basically went to name off a list of things that represented rebellious institutions or occultic activities that were caused by the forceful treatment.

I woke up from this dream, and I was seriously disturbed. I was so troubled in my spirit, but I had no idea what the dream meant. I pondered the dream for most of the morning than during one of my classes I couldn't pay attention so I started to right the dream down. As I began writing, God began to give me a lot more clarity about what the dream meant.

I realized that the father represented the church and leaders in the church. The daughter represented the people under the care of church leaders and even the unreached. The alphabet represented Christianity and the teachings of the church.

In the dream, we see how the church has moved with good intentions in trying to teach those about Christianity. The church has treated those under its care with love and respect. However, when the church has encountered difficulty or bumps in the process of conversion, they have turned to forceful means. We see historically examples of this in the ways that colonizers forced Christianity upon Native Americans and how other missionaries have forcefully asserted their beliefs onto others. As a result of this forceful action, those under the care of the church have retaliated by growing cold and bitter towards the church and creating their own institutions in opposition. As we see in the dream, the church's forceful actions have actually opened up the door for demonic attack and oppressive institutions as a result of the church's actions.

What God was really impressing on my heart is that we must begin to see those we come in contact as our own children. We are spiritual fathers and mothers to a generation, and we must treat them as so. No parent in their right mind would shock their children to teach them the alphabet, but then why do we do this everyday with those we supposedly "love." If people don't meet up to our standards whether Christian or not, we begin to force our value system upon them rather than understanding their situation. However, we must learn that God is at work in the lives of those around us. We cannot force the situation because in doing so, we only end up hurting those we love even more. We must ask God to open our eyes to see those we love as our very own children because when we think about it everyone we come in contact with is a child of God. You would never mistreat a child of another parent, then why would we even consider mistreating a child of God.

What God really impressed on my heart through this dream was the need to know the Father's heart. God loves all His children with an everlasting love, and we must begin to love with the same kind of heart that God does. We cannot force our Christianity upon others, but instead we must truly love others as if they were our own son or daughter - brother or sister. We must begin to see people as the way God sees them. We must begin to love with the love of the Father's heart. God wants to restore our generation by turning the hearts of the fathers back to the children and the hearts of the children back to the fathers. One of the most important thing our generation needs is spiritual fathers and mothers who will love with the Father's heart.