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Christmas 2008: The Redemptive Power of Guns (nerf guns that is)

Disclaimer:
I got pretty carried away in telling my story, but be sure to check out the crazy videos at the bottom...if your looking on facebook make sure to look at the "original post." They are priceless....truly priceless....
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Wow it's hard to believe that another Christmas has come and passed us by! It's crazy how fast time flies. This year was no exception. In the midst of the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, it's easy to lose focus on why we celebrate Christmas. Today, we celebrate Jesus birth. We remember that because of his birth in a manger over 2000 years ago we have an eternal. The God of the universe sent His son to leave the riches and powers of heaven to be born into poverty and eventually die for the very creation He created. Thanks to His birth, I have a reason to smile, to laugh, to live life to the fullest.

This Christmas was no exception. Every Christmas, my extended family gets together to eat and enjoy one another's company. We usually gather around great food and after we eat the older people separate into their group and play scrabble and the younger kids hang out and find things to pass time usually with karaoke or something. But this year was markedly different. First of all, the past few years I have celebrated Christmas with my family in Los Angeles. But this year, we stayed in Phoenix. So all of us cousins decided we were going to have a Secret Santa gift exchange. We all picked names and were set on getting gifts for one another. However, a couple days before Christmas, my cousin Rhoanne and I were in the car talking about the gift exchange. While were driving, we had this random idea of pooling our secret Santa money together and buy some board games instead of buying each other presents. We figured it would be a lot more fun if we started some kind of family tradition where our cousins could gather together each holiday and look forward to doing something fun. The adults always play Scrabble, so we wanted to do something that would mark our generation and those to come.

That night we had dinner with most of our cousins, and we proposed the board game idea. They all were on board with the idea and like the fact that we could do something fun together. We then decided to all go to Target together. It was Dec. 23 so it was pretty busy. We braved the busy store and went searching for the perfect board games for our family. As we went down the game aisle, we came to decide we were going to pick Catch Phrase and Apples to Apples. We had those games in hands when my brother and Patrick had the spontaneous idea of buying a Nerf Gun. We all thought they were pretty crazy, but my brother was pretty adamant about getting a gun. We all turned down a game that he wanted to get earlier, so we all decided that we would get a Nerf a gun and play tag with it or something. It was settled, and we got a cool gun with glow in the dark darts and 8 dart shooter.

So fast forward to the day of Christmas. My brobro brings the gun to the family party and starts showing it to the rest of the cousins telling them how cool it is because he messed around with it the night before. They started shooting at the window at it and have this bright idea of drawing a target and playing a shooting game of sorts. One of my cousins, Leo, got a dry erase marker and began drawing a makeshift target on the television. Soon, all the guys began lining up and shooting at the target on the television. My uncle walked in and saw what we were doing and wanted to try joining in the fun. He got the gun and started shooting at the target drawn on the television as well. He missed the first couple of times, and it was pretty funny. But he soon got the hang of it and was pretty good with his aim.


So with this in mind, the scene was now set for an Epic showdown that would define the night and quite possibly the rest of our lives. We put the gun away as the family trickled into the house. I have a pretty big extended family. There are about 11 of us cousins, two of them have fiancees, and 4 younger cousins, and all their families. So we have a pretty big crowd. We sat around the table, and my uncle got out his guitar and led us in some Christmas carols. During the last song, he made the family divide into tenors, altos, and sopranos to sing Silent Night. It was quite funny but entertaining. We then prayed and sat together and enjoyed a scrumdidlyumcious meal! Then, history was made.

After dinner, my uncle, who had played with the Nerf gun, challenged the youth to a showdown versus the adults to see who were best sharpshooters in the family. So the stage was set - adults versus youth - who would come out with a victory in a game of a skill and momentum. I kid you not - it has probably been one of the most intense things I have ever been a part of. Each side picked 5 representatives - 5 adults versus 5 youth. We then began to spontaneously make rules left and right - mostly because I like to be a control freak sometime and make things entertaining and interesting. We had each time pick team captains, and they convened in the middle for the coin toss. The adults won the toss, and the youth decided to go up first. Each team alternated shooters. A youth member would go, and then an adult member would shoot. We created a point system based on where the dart landed on the target and tallied up the points.

After the first round of shooting, the youth blew the adults away by a score of 67 to 47. But the adults were resilient. They were not about to be undone by a group of scrappy young people. They challenged us to a best 2 out of 3 shoot out. So, they all lined up again alternating who would shoot at the target. At the end of the shootout, the adults pulled away with a narrow victory of 59-56. It was a close fight, but the adults would not be easily defeated. The youth visibly grew overconfident and less interested in the game, but the resolve of the adults steadily grew. The stage was not set for a tie breaker. The final 3rd set was truly historic.

Each team got up again for their last set to assert their dominance over the other. The atmosphere was electric. This might sound like a crazy satire, but it is all true. Stay with me. I have video down below to prove it all. Everyone eagerly watched each shot. People rejoiced and cheered with each bulls eye and skill shot; likewise, they cheered and poked fun of missed shots and miscues. It was really really funny. Adults were making fun of each other and pressuring the youth to mess up. The youth initiated the standard chants you hear at any competitive game. We cued up the stomping and clapping while we chanted "We Will We Will Rock You!" The chants reverberated throughout the room as the youth put the pressure on the adults to respond. After 3 shooters, the score was tied 51 to 51. It would go down to the final two shooters. The adults responded with their own chants, and we just laughed it off and came back with the "Hey Song" and other miscellaneous chants. I'm telling you this was really intense.

It came down to the wire. The final two shooters were up to shoot. My brother was one of them. The competition was so crazy family members were pitted against one another cheering on their team. In the video below, my brother is up to shoot when my mother, of all people, tries to distract to lose focus on the shot. It's really hilarious. Pay special attention to the seriousness of my brothers face and the terror tactics of my mother.




Pretty crazy right? Notice the ensuing argument over whether the shot was on the line or not. If the shot was on the line, it counts as a lower value. It was really close, but in the end, this shot ended up costing us the game in the slimmest of margins. I'm seriously not joking around in telling you this was a hotly contested shootout.

So get this, after all 5 youth shooters had gone, we were ahead by only ten points with the last shooter to go for the adults. The last shooter was my uncle, who had suggested we have a shootout in the first place. As he stepped up to the line, the youth section put significant pressure on the adults as they chanted, "Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!" He calmly stepped up to the line and had some incredible shots. He had hit the bulls eye and some other good shots and only needed two more points for the out right win. The youth watched with agonizing tension with the thought of being defeated by the adults. The pressure was on. My uncle geared up for his second to last shot. He put the gun into position, shot, and.... MISS. He missed the target! The youth section cheered with glee! The adults were shocked in silence. He had one more shot - bull's eye for a two point victory, two-point shot for the out right win, or one pointer for the tie. All he had to do was hit the target. He cocked the gun into place, pulled the trigger, and bam! He hit the one point target! The game was tied! Can you believe that? After all the agonizing tension, the was going into extra periods! We didn't even anticipate such a scenario happening!

After some discussion, the group decided we would do sudden death shootout. Each team member would have one shot. After each member shot, the fiver members total would be added up and the team with the highest total would win. We had another coin toss. The adults lost, and the youth decided to shoot first. The youth had some sub par shots and were beginning to melt under the pressure. The adults had some solid shots. At the end of the youth member's turn, the score was tied, and it came down to the last shooter, my dad. All he had to do was hit the target for the victory. The video below is the result of the crazy competition that came down to the very last shot in overtime!


Notice, the clutch performance by dad and the ensuing victory dance - A Kodak moment indeed! It was devastation for the youth and an "I told you so" moment for the adults. For yet another year, the oldies would not be denied. Their tested and tried perseverance won out and the youngins were left in stunned silence. The adults cheered and were excited to exert the dominance once again. At the end of the game, the adults got together and gave a final chant. It wasn't a jeer or a taunt, but nevertheless it stung. They gathered together and chanted, "We Wish you a Merry Christmas; We wish you a Merry Christmas; and a Happy New Year!" Ouch! Nothing like a Merry Christmas marred by defeat. Better luck next year youngins!

Hahaha......ahhh I crack myself up! Ahh, this was seriously such a great night though! It has been such a long time since I have seen so much laughter and joy exhibited by family. It has been two years since a big church break-up brought so much pain and devastation to my family. It caused a big split and many hurt emotions, but tonight all those painful memories seemed like the distant past. I saw a sense of unity and community that hasn't been there for so long. It is so awesome to see our family gather together and enjoy one another. A generational gap was bridged today, and new family tradition was born. Afterwards, the kids played Catch Phrase and the adults eagerly watched us waiting for their turn. They got their turn alright, and boy were they hilarious. So much laughter and joy today!

This past weekend I have been praying for healing and reconciliation for my family during this Christmas season. That is what I wanted for Christmas. My two Secret Santas from previous parties had failed me, but tonight, God showed up in a special way and didn't let me down. Tonight was a big step towards the healing of past wounds and a step towards unity and love. It was sooo goood! Thank you Jesus for being so cool.

But this blog entry would be incomplete with testifying to the other joys experienced today. I got to talk my friend Sara again today after almost a five month gap. It was so amazing to hear the awesome things God has been doing in her life. It was a very encouraging conversation, and it was so awesome to be able to talk again as if we hadn't missed a beat! The future ahead is looking bright. What a happy day! Thank you God for Christmas!

Dear God, as we take time to remember the birth of your son Jesus on this special day, I would also like to thank you for answered prayer. Thank you for being ever present at our family party tonight, and thank you so much for continuing to bring healing and reconciliation to our family. You are an amazing God and worthy to be praised! Thank you for renewed excitement and the joys of friendship. Thank you for greater things to come ahead! I pray for more healing and reconciliation and for more clarity and vision. Work in wondrous ways as you bring us into the New Year. We're believing for the Year of the Lord's favor in 2009! Thank you God for this day to remember your son's birth. Jesus is the true reason for the season! In Jesus Name, Amen!

The Reason We Pray

This last semester has been one crazy adventure. I never could have imagined all that God had in store. And to think, this is only the beginning. The waves are only getting bigger. Greater things are yet to come. I have so many things on my mind. I don't even know where to begin and how to process them all. It's like I am in a dream world. Is all of this really real? But, I pinch myself, and this is real life. God is on the move. Things are happening. We might not all see it yet, but it's there. Just keep waiting, watching.

I have been reading Pete Greig's book Red Moon Rising the last few days. It is amazing. I've been meaning to read this book for a while, but I never got to it until now. I think God really has brought me into this season in my life to read this book. It's pretty powerful and doing some crazy things in my heart. As I read through this book, I realize how God is working in my heart calling me to pray, but more so calling a generation to pray. As I look at my life, I think to myself just how God is good and sovereign in my life. Today, I thank God for renewed friendship and excitement. It has been a long, arduous path, and it will continue to be. But it has been well worth it so far. I thank God for all that I have gone through as He prepares my heart for what's next. I thank God for relationships that uplift and build me up like iron sharpens iron. I wish I could explain the feelings that I am experiencing, but no words can express. I'm at a loss for word in trying to comprehend what God is doing.

It is simply indescribable trying to understand the vastness of God. I find myself being so small and insignificant compared to the greatness of His power. And yet He has chosen me. He has invited me into this crazy plan of His. And He invites us all. I am humbled at the thought that these revolutionary thoughts in my head are not mine. They belong to God. From the outside view, I am just a crazy, radical college kid going through a phase. But this is no phase, following Jesus is a lifelong commitment. I have consigned to the fact that for the rest of life I will be misunderstood and probably misrepresented. But there is more than meets the eye. There is something stirring inside that I don't know how to explain or express.

There is a shift occurring in our generation. The eyes of the lost and forgotten are being opened. Renewal is happening. Healing is taking place. In his book, Greig puts it like this: "As God mobilizes a different army, a fighting force that will wage peace on earth, it must begin with healing and hope for those soldiers crushed by the past" (152). How do I know it's happening? Because I see the transformation in my life. I look back to a year ago and am baffled at how God invited me into a process of renewal. I look to the lives of people around me who are testaments of the healing God is doing their lives. As I spoke to a friend who I haven't spoke to in five months, I heard the work of healing God is continually doing in her life. And as she spoke, I realized the healing God was doing in my own life.


As I spoke to another friend, these words jumped out to me:

i've been thinking a lot about how like writing (creative writing, blogging, email writing, writing groups) can be used to bring about healing and community and Jesus, and i've just been thinking a lot about how i have a ton of ideas but less than a smidgen of courage/confidence to bring them into reality.

This is the reason why I pray. Because there is a generation that God is raising up to bring healing and renewal in revolutionary ways that will touch the world from end to end. But the healing begins first in our hearts. Before we can go out, we must experience the freeing and healing touch of God. These words encourage me because they remind me that it is not in our own strength or strategy that we will make a difference. It is the sovereign power of God who will work in our lives and use weak vessels like us. I see myself in this statement. I oftentimes find myself afraid at what God could possibly use me for. I am humbled because He has given me the invitation to join Him in an epic battle plan to bring healing and renewal to the world. I pray for moments like today when healing and renewal take place once again - when friendships are brought back to life and restoration happens; when realization occurs and divine inspiration takes place. This is just the beginning of what is to come. I only have a limited eye's view of God's bigger picture. But there is so much more....so much more.

In closing, as I am reading through Red Moon Rising, I came upon a passage that I had read before in a book called Fireseeds of Revival. It is a poem that struck my heart about a year ago. The video I have pasted below is a pretty powerful representation of the passage. I have pasted the complete words to the poem underneath the video as well. Anyhoo, I shared this poem at my church when I first began to realize the magnitude of revival. I didn't realize this poem was written by Pete Greig when I wrote it. But I spoke this poem and saw God move in powerful ways at my church. God spoke through me at church this one Sunday. I saw my brother and my father as well as many others respond to God in an altar call. Many others cried. God was moving that day. And He is continuing to move in this generation. He is inviting us to catch the wave of what He is doing in this generation. Will you join?

And this is why I pray....

The Vision

by Pete Grieg

So this guy comes up to me and says, “What’s the vision? What’s the big idea?”
I open up my mouth and the words come out like this...

The vision?
The vision is Jesus:
obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is of an army of young people.
You see bones?
I see an army.

And they are free from materialism—
They laugh at nine-to-five little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the West was won.

They are mobile like the wind.
They belong to the nations.
They need no passport.
People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting, dirty and dying.

What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry.
It gave up the game of minimal integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, from every conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps—their Satan games.

This is an army that would lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day, its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great “well done” of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.

They don’t need fame from names.
Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”
And this is the sound of the underground, the whisper of history in the making, foundations shaking, revolutionaries dreaming once again.
Mystery is scheming in whispers, conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground.

And the army is disciple(in)ed—
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.
Winners.
Martyrs.
Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them?

And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulfuric tears and great barrow loads of laughter!

Waiting.
Watching.
24-7-365.

Whatever it takes they will give:
Breaking the rules,
Shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide,
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs,
Laughing at labels,
Fasting essentials.
The advertisers cannot mold them.
Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late-night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive on the inside.
On the outside?
They hardly care!
They wear clothes like costumes: to communicate and celebrate, but never to hide.

Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their lives, swap seats with the man on death row, guilty as hell: a throne of an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as though it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses Jesus.
He breathes out.
They breathe in.
Their subconscious sings.
They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.

Their words make demons scream in shopping malls.
Don’t you hear them coming?

Herald the weirdoes!
Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes!
They walk tall and trees applaud.
Skyscrapers bow.
Mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.

Their prayers summon the Hound of Heaven and evoke the dream of Eden.

And, this vision will be.
It will come to pass.
It will come easily.
It will come soon.

How do I know?
Because, this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the spirit, the very dream of God.

My tomorrow is His today.
My distant hope is His 3-D.
And, my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking, great “AMEN!” from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself.

And He is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.

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God, Thank you for today. Thank you for renewed friendships and inspirational conversations. Thank you for renewed excitement and renewed joy. Thank you that your plan is bigger than what we can possibly imagine. Thank you that you are raising up a generation eager to respond. God, I pray that you would break off all fear and disunity upon our hearts. Give us a spirit of boldness and unity to step out in faith to what you have called us to do. Raise up your nameless, faceless generation who will bring glory to you in all we say and do. Teach us what it means to bring you glory in all things. Teach us to love one another as You have loved us. Give us strength to whole-heartedly fall after you and die to our selfish desires. May we never compromise for the good or even great things. You offer the best, and we receive that with wide-open arms and hearts. We love you Jesus. Raise up a generation who will cry out for you! We long for the day in which the Spirit and the Bride will say "Come." Maranatha - Come quickly Lord Jesus! In your precious name, Amen!

Another Semester Down

Wooo! Another semester down, only 3 more to go! What a scary thought. It's crazy to think about how fast time flies by. But I'm definitely glad to have this semester over with. It has been one crazy adventure so far with so many unexpected turns and ups and downs. I am so ready to take a few moments to breathe and catch my breath before things get all crazy again. This is gonna be an awesome time to rest and really spend some time with God and make up for lost time. I'm excited to wait on the Lord and see where He will take me in this next chapter of my life. It's been a pretty hard season, and I'm sure there will be a lot more preparation to go through before it is all said and done. But it has been fun. And it'll be good to see how God orchestrates the crazy things that will happen next.

As of right now, I'm gonna move out of my dorm, go back home, and just take some time to really pray and seek God in the next few days. Then Christmas will be right around the corner. Yay! Christmas is always fun! What an amazing season to celebrate Christ's birth and remember why we do the things we do. After that, I'll be going to Kansas City for OneThing! I'm so excited for this. I didn't think I would be able to go, but God is making it happen. Woohoo! I get to go with the Ngais also! So fun! Last time, we went on a trip together to Colorado, we encountered some crazy adventures. I wonder what's next. Then two weeks off after that and off to Epic Conference in San Francisco before school starts. It's gonna be rad. I'm just really excited about everything right now.

It's good to be free! Yesterday, I got to chill for the first time in a really long time and not have to worry about coming home and doing homework. It felt so good! We went to Guitar Center, and then ended up hanging out at the MU after that. My roommate came up with a new dance called the pie eating dance. It's going to be hitting the clubs over the summer be looking out for it. Haha then my roommate and I randomly started wrestling in my room. He's a lot bigger than me, but I definitely got him in a choke hold in one round haha. Oh and I finally watched the Dark Night for the first time - pretty intense.

Anyhoo, some of us from Epic got together and prayed before we all went off in our separate directions. It was sweet to be in the prayer room once again for the last time of the semester. It makes me so happy to see how much our group has grown over the last semester. I talk about it all the time, but we have really grown a lot. It's amazing to see how our group came together. So many crazy stories piled into one. It was definitely good to pray for one another and seek God for direction as we go off into winter break. We'll see each other once again at Epic Conference! Woot! Winter Break, here we come!!! Thank you God that we are finally here!

After hours... in the library

So, Michael Buster, Lydia, and I probably had the coolest conversation in the library ever. It was so spontaneous and random, but so divinely inspired at the same time. It started with a discussion about Orientalism and the ways in which Asians are subverted today though in ways subtle and unseen. But what I saw tonight was something so special. I saw a camaraderie and transformation that was so unique and so birthed out the heart of God. The conversations we have are sparking a transformation in our hearts that going to affect the world. Our systems of church, education, politics, and whatever have been forming and shaping people to think one way and be one kind of model. But God is doing something special in which I believe He is going to change the way we think about the church that is going to transform the rest of society. When we come to understand the fullness of who we have been created to be, we will walk in freedom knowing what God wants to do. There is still so much healing that needs to take place in each of hearts, but we are moving one step closer. I don't know what to say, but transformation is taking place in the after hours in places like the library. Relationships are being developed in the places that our lives intersect. They are being developed around homework of all things. Out of this simple thing has come conversations that will forever change our lives and will be the starting point of things to come. This was definitely a refreshment to me tonight. Ya, I have finals and stuff tomorrow morning. But when it's all said in done, the things that were spoken here tonight will go so much further. God is working on people's hearts and is setting us free to step into the fullness He offers us. There's something about this library. Intercession is the key. Let's press in and pray. God is moving in peoples hearts in a very special way.

Powerful Company

Haha....hmmm....where do I even begin? God remains to be as awesome as ever. I've been totally out of it and not feeling it lately, but nevertheless God has been showing up in some really cool ways especially in the last couple of days. So yesterday as I talked about in my last blog, I got to spend some time with some missionaries who have a heart for the Muslim community. It was a really awesome opportunity to hear their hearts and gain Godly counsel form their experiences. It was also a really cool thing to share that with my Epic Crew. That last night, I really felt like we broke through into something. After all, I did name my blog Epic Crew "Breakthrough" because I thought it was amazingly significant.

Well, tonight just got even crazier and amazing. So today we had a prayer meeting gathering student prayer leaders from different campuses from all over Arizona. At the beginning of the day, I was so not into this. I'm still in the middle of finals and stuff, so I was a little hesitant to have this meeting, and I have been so ready to just check out of school and planning and just chill. Well, every time I have this attitude, God always seems to move my heart in a special way especially with these group of prayer leaders. We had prayer leaders from a school in Prescott, AZ, NAU, and ASU. We got together worshipped and prayed over one another and each other's campuses. It was a really sweet experience. I got to share my heart on the freshman and 2Chronicles 20:12 to one of the girls from NAU, and it was really amazing to find out they had used that exact verse for their 24hour prayer theme this year! God is too cool.

So anyway, after we took time sharing with one another, we zipped off to dinner at Hal and Cheryl Sack's house. These two are an amazing couple who are totally anointed and have been working together to connect leaders across Arizona and bring the power of God to this state. They are influential leaders who help put on conferences like PrayerQuake that was really influential in shaping my life this last summer. To get an idea of how awesome and influential they are - while we were talking - Cindy Jacobs called them and left a message on their voicemail. Cindy Jacobs is a well-known woman of God who walks in the prophetic and has a heart for intercession. It was pretty sweet. She is a fiery woman of God.

Anyway, so if you don't catch the drift. Last night, I met with two powerful and anointed couples and then tonight I met with another couple who have tremendous hearts for God. Like last night, they hosted about ten of us prayer leaders in their house. We ate together and shared some stories about God was doing in our lives and what was happening in our campuses. They also shared some great insight with us that really opened my mind and heart to a lot of cool things that God is doing in Arizona and around the world.

One of the things that they really emphasized to us youth leaders was to remain focused on what God is calling us to do. They talked about how so many times this generation of young people gets so excited and passionate for God that we want to go out and change the world right now. However, they challenged us to really press into the things that God is calling us to do especially with the majors he has called us to in school. In talking about this, they mentioned the idea of the 7 mountains of influence. These 7 seven mountains of influence include things like business, government, arts/media, religion, family, etc. Apparently, these 7 mountains of influence were shown to Bill Bright and another influential leader by God to call people to intercede specifically for these things. So each of these mountains has a significant influence in our society. But they mentioned that only about 6% of people actually hold the power in each of these influences. God is calling our generation to begin to rise up influence these different mountains. We are to pray for the top 6% and begin to get there ourselves. God is raising up a powerful generation of youth who revolutionize our society. But we must be faithful in preparing ourselves.

Whether it be a doctor, lawyer, artist, musician, politician, minister, etc. - God is calling our to generation to remain steadfast in what He has called us to do in this time and moment. There is a tendency for us to run really fast and change the world. But God wants us to be where we are at right now. It's hard, and it's not glamorous, but God is making us ready for a time when we will really be able to influence the places he has called us to. Hal and Cheryl talked about how in their days if you were passionate for God you only had limited number of options in pursuing ministry. You either became a missionary, became a pastor, or married a pastor. There were only so many options. These people oftentimes ended up being unhappy because they weren't able to reach their full potential.

However, these days God is allowing the look of ministry to be completely different from what it was in previous generations. These days God is calling people to be missionaries in the marketplace. This means that God is calling college students to go into the professions such as engineering, medicine, education, politics, etc. and go make a change in these places in bringing the influence of His kingdom. He talked about the example of Jaeson Ma and how God has used him to revolutionize Hollywood and influenced other top celebrities and musicians. God has prepared his heart for this unique season. He had to wait and endure a long season, but now God has him in a tremendous place of influence.

Hal gave an example like this. He talked about how we are in a big baseball game. The game is going on out there, and one of these days we will be up to bat. We will have our chance to go out there and make a difference in the game. However, the pitches won't be slow or always in the zone. They are going to be just as hard as anyone else who came before us. We must be ready when this opportunity comes up. Thus, we must prepare our hearts and remain under God's covering. We cannot be impatient and miss on what God is calling us to do. It may not be glamorous and easy now, but God is preparing us for a unique time when we will be able to operate in the fullness of what He has in store for us.

So as you can garner, this couple is amazing! It was such a blessing to in their company. You can just imagine the powerful company I was privileged to be a part of tonight. There were amazing prayer leaders from all over the state having the opportunity to pray and speak with an amazing couple who have been forerunning this current movement of God. It was crazy because as we worshipped together as a group, God really began putting on my heart that what we did tonight and the night before was one step closer to what the restoration of the church looks like. My heart is much to see the power of God restore the church and see the fullness of what He wants the church to be.

So as we prayed, I just began to imagine what it would look like if young people would be able to meet more frequently with spiritual mothers and fathers like Hal and Cheryl more often. It is truly a transformational experience. I have experienced it two nights in a row, and it totally blows my mind away. The group your with grows so much closer together, and everyone is encouraged. I mean I really felt like we were operating close to the fullness of God wants the church to look like. We fellowshipped and ate together. We shared together. People prophesied over each other. Hal and Cheryl prophesied over everyone (more on this later). We worshipped together. There was even some deliverance tonight and some healing. Like I said, these are things that I believe will be commonplace in the church as move forward in what He has called us to be.

What was so amazing about tonight was how natural and normal these things happened. There was nothing forced or pretentious about anything that happened tonight. No one person was glorified or had attention drawn to them. I really believe Jesus Christ was fully glorified and lifted high tonight. And that was what has been so cool about tonight. I saw people operate in their giftings in such a natural and normal way in which everyone was edified. This is was definitely a picture or a snapshot of what the church will look like! What is so crazy is like I said before these are the things that God has really been placing on my heart. Kelly and I have discussed meeting with the older generation before and doing something like this. And even as I prayed, God brought back to memory this strategy that He had put on my heart over the summer in my time of fasting and praying. Over the summer, I really wanted to initiate a simple church movement amongst the youth in my church. God really put a strategy on my heart that included a similar strategy that I have experienced the last two nights. It involves a youth group holding a simple church meeting but having it be hosted and partly facilitated by a couple in the church who would be willing to house and feed the youth. This could work on rotation system where different families could host the youth group simple church.

I don't know exactly what this would look like. But I think it would be so amazing to have spiritual fathers and mothers provide direction and prophetic vision to the emerging youth. Our generation is missing role models of fathers and mothers and their is a lack of discipleship and accountability. What would it look life if the younger generation and the older generation were more regularly sitting around a table together eating and sharing the things God is doing in each groups hearts. It would be an encouragement to both groups, and I really think we would begin to see some crazy transformation. I really think that this will potentially be a big step in seeing a new move in church structure and vision.

So anyways, as you probably know by now, my heart is to see the transformation and restoration of the church. I desire to see simple churches raised up, and students and others empowered and equipped to bring the gospel to the ends of the earth. It was so crazy because I mentioned this a little bit to Hal and Cheryl, but they only knew me for a couple hours when they began to prophesy an amazing word to me that totally blows me and and humbles my heart. First of all, they told me that I shouldn't be surprised if the plan and strategy didn't look like what I expected. In fact, I should probably expect it to look differently. Even with all the radical ideas that we talk about together, the outcome will be different than what we expected. Then they began to say how God was going to use me to step into a new wineskin that has never before been seen. There would be new blueprints that would be downloaded straight from God and from no one else. There will be new plans and models that I won't be copying from anyone else. This won't be happening alone. It will require the help and relationships of others. They said that I probably would be misunderstood. But that I must continue to be faithful to God and walk in humility. Then, Cheryl prayed that I God would send me a spiritual mentor who would help me discover and learn the principles that God wants me to have in order for Him to show me what He wanted me to do. This mentor wouldn't tell me what to do, but would help me along the way. Eventually, there will come a point that even my mentor will not understand the things God is leading me to, and I will have to step out in faith.

Crazy! I don't want to say things with a spirit of pride or anything. It just feels so amazing to see that what they said encapsulates so many things on my heart. My heart is so keen on seeing God move in our generation and move us into a new wineskin and a new way of seeing the church move in the power of God. Also, I have so desired to have a spiritual mentor who would be able to help me through this process. That has been one of the biggest things that has frustrated me, and one of the biggest things I have been asking God to bring to me. And all in one night, God affirmed and confirmed the things He was putting on my heart and encouraged me so much. It was so awesome!

I could probably go on forever, but I think the point is that God is moving in awesome ways. What tonight really showed me is that when we rest in God the breakthrough and the revelations come so much more quickly. Oftentimes, we work so hard and strive to experience God and hear His voice. But so often, he just wants us to wait on Him and allow the breakthroughs to come naturally and organically. The breakthroughs will come, but they come most often when we rest in God. Tonight and last night, I saw the Holy Spirit working in ways that seemed so normal and so natural. He was putting things on my heart and those around us. The Spirit was moving in ways in which everyone was encouraged, but no one had to work or strive towards. Tonight, I got a glimpse of what the church should and will be like. It was a beautiful sight. I was definitely in the midst of some powerful company tonight. None more powerful than the Holy Spirit Himself. Yay God!

God, thank you for your faithfulness and your love. Thank you that you move in heart ours and minds in ways that we cannot even begin to think or imagine. Thank you that you invite us to rest in you and experience this breakthrough out of restoration and renewal. Thank you for opportunities to see the fullness of who you are be manifested in simple expressions of what it looks like to be the church. God, I pray that you would help our generation to be patient in stepping into the full destiny that you have prepared for us. May we remember that destiny is birthed and released out of knowing who we are. Our identity is set in you. You are so good! God help me to remain humble and patient in seeking your face. Break off any pride or self-seeking. When all else fades and goes away, you still remain. You are the desire of my heart and the source of my affection. No one else will do. Raise up a generation of lovesick worshippers. We love you Jesus! The Spirit and the Bride say come! In Jesus Name, Amen!

Epic Crew Breakthrough

Wow! So God never ceases to amaze me with His awesomeness. He always seems to show up in ways that you least expect it. As the semester winds down, it's crazy just to sit back and reflect on the craziness that God has orchestrated. Speaking of orchestra - totally random, but I'm going to say it anyway - so I've been listening to a classical music lately especially when I'm studying. It might seem kind of nerdy, but I find it to be very relaxing. I remember I would use to listen to the classical music station on the radio when I was doing my calculus homework in high school. Haha it was legit! I'm determined to play Mozart music to my children one day so that they will grow up to be geniuses haha. Anyway, as I listen to classical music especially orchestras, I am blown away by the complexity of the music. It blows my mind away how one person could come up with musical masterpieces so complex. As I listen to the music, I am reminded how God is so much bigger and more complex than anything any human can come up with. Crazy!

Anyhoo, tonight was a pretty crazy night. I really feel like we stepped into some kind of breakthrough with our Epic crew tonight. Lydia, one of our Epic friends invited us over to her house to have dinner with her mother and Rick and Fran Love. Rick and Fran Love were the former International directors of Frontiers, a missions group focused on reaching the Muslim community. In other words, they were a big deal! It was such an awesome experience to hear their hearts on missions and their insight into the things God is doing around the world. They have such amazing hearts, and they were so gracious in taking time out of their busy schedules to have dinner with a group of college kids.

The things we talked about were amazing. One of the things that really got me excited was the brief conversation I was able to have with Rick about the Philippines. Rick has been all over the world and lived in Indonesia for many years. He has a special heart for reaching the Muslim community. And he talked some about Filipinos working in the Middle East. As soon as he mentioned this, i got super excited because one of the things God put on my heart over the summer was the role that Filipinos could possibly play in reaching Muslims and bringing the gospel back to Jerusalem. One of the things I have been thinking about doing is looking at the impact of the Filipino Diaspora in places such as the Middle East, and my heart has been to see God use Filipinos in these places to spread the gospel. As I told him about my interest in the Philippines, he began to tell me about how these things were happening with Filipinos in the Middle East! Filipinos were being raised up to reach the Muslim community in places like Saudi Arabia! I always thought I was crazy in thinking about those things because I had no idea how legitimate it was. But it was such a crazy confirmation to know that things like this are already happening.

The Loves also talked about racial reconciliation and the beauty of seeing different cultures and ethnicities worshipping God in their own unique ways. It was so cool to hear him talk about the cool ways different ethnicities worship God and the importance of recognizing and working toward this diversity especially in the Western church. Here in the West, we have become so set on worshipping and understanding God in a certain way. Even in our mission work, we tend to relay our Western conceptions of church onto other people without taking the time to understand the beauty and complexity of their own cultures. We also got to talk about some deep-rooted issues dealing with evangelism. We often go into evangelism with wrong motivations, and we fail to recognize just what evangelism means. He reminded us that the root of the word evangelism means "good news." We often lose sight of the fact that the heart of evangelism is "good news."

But I think one of the things that I was really convicted of tonight was the idea of loving others. I mean we hear all the time. We have to love our neighbors as ourselves. Loving other people is such an important concept. And yet, too often, we love people with an agenda. We love people so that they will follow Jesus. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this, but the Loves brought up the difficulties they faced in reaching the Muslim community. They were confronted by the fact that they would only love people if they followed Jesus; however, when people weren't following Jesus anymore they wouldn't show them they same kind of love.

When they said this, I was instantly convicted. I look at so many situations in my life when my love for them has been contingent upon them meeting my expectations. I only love people when they do the things that I expect them to do. I only care for them and keep up with them when I see growth and transformation. But whenever people are not meeting my expectations or aren't loving Jesus anymore, it's like I don't love them as much. And it's really crazy to think about this concept especially in thinking about what parents have to go through. I realized the hardships that many Christian parents face in raising kids. So many parents work so hard and do so much for their kids, but so many times things don't turn out how they expected. I heard examples of this tonight, and as I think about it now, it grips my heart.

I am beginning to realize so much of what it means to love people without agenda. I mean I always thought I knew about this. I mean ya, we are supposed to love people no matter what they do and no matter what the circumstances. I think this is sometimes easier when we are first meeting people. We meet a person, and we want to love them no matter what they do or who they are. This is a significant first step. Then as we love and care for this person, we see them grow and get excited about loving God. They do and say all the right things, and even if they don't, you see significant growth, so it makes you happy. When you see this, you love them even more. But lately, I have been realizing that it is so hard to love people who have shown so much potential and so much growth in loving Jesus who all of a sudden don't show that same amount of interest and enthusiasm about knowing about God. What happens when those people who have grown so much hit speed bumps, and don't follow Jesus the same way you used to. Do you still love them the same? Our love for people shouldn't change, but in my human flesh, I realize that I make judgments based on how people act and how they respond to me. I often think about how selfish people or how ungrateful they are for not responding to the love that I have shown them. But then I realize that I'm the one being selfish in wanting that kind of recognition and appreciation in the first place.

And then there's the whole issues of parents. I know I have a hard to understanding how my parents have loved me at times. I went through a somewhat rebellious period in my life, and yet my parents never checked out on me. They were there to love me through thick and thin. There were definitely some hard times along the way, but they have loved me a long the way. Then there's the story of loving parents who love and care for their kids so much even though they break their hearts. How does that even work? How can you do that?

It's even crazier to think about God and the crazy love He has for us. We have let Him down so many times and haven't always loved Him fully, but He has always been there for us. When I remember this, I feel like a jerk for being so angry and frustrated with the people in my life who I feel "let me down." I've let down my parents so many times, yet they still love me. Even more so, I have let down God so much, and yet his love never changes. I guess it was awesome to get this perspective once again and see just how big and awesome God's love really is. This is a definitely a lesson that never gets old.

But getting to the heart of this matter, I really felt like tonight was a breakthrough of sorts. Tonight, five of us from Epic got to sit down and have dinner with friends and mentors of an older generation - our parents generation. It was so amazing to hear their unique insight and experiences. So many times, I know I get into the mentality that I am a young visionary with a plan to change the world. I often forget that there have been others before me who have had similar ambitions. It was so good to hear their wisdom and see their openness to hearing the things God is doing in our lives. It was cool because while we learned so much from them I think they were really encouraged by us as well. This is a breakthrough because this is the kind of thing that I have always wanted to do - bridge the generational gap with young and old sharing their stories and experiences. I remember Kelly and I talking about this kind of thing when we first started Epic a year ago. I have even heard our Crusade campus directors talking about this concept. They have wanted adults in the community to take in students, share a meal with them, and exchange stories. We did that tonight without knowing what we were stepping into. It just kind of happened.

Thank you God! This night was seriously an amazing blessing. Not only did we get to hang out with some cool adults, but we also got closer as a group as well. I mean its 1am on a Sunday morning, and we are hanging out together while studying in the library. Who does that? We are seeing some crazy transformation. And it's nothing that I could have orchestrated or come up with in a million years. Life is like a crazy symphony and God is orchestrating everything to perfection. All we gotta do is play our part and let the complexity of his plan unfold around us. I sure have no idea what is going on, but I feel so privileged and honored to be a part of it.

God,
Thank you so much that you are a God who works in mysterious ways. You never cease to amaze me! Thank you for the lessons you teach me in the places that I would least expect it. Tonight, I want to lift up to you the parents of this generation. God, I pray that they would remain steadfast in your love as you have remained steadfast in your love for us. I thank you for the parents who have remained faithful in loving their children even when their children break their hearts. God,you said that you would turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children and the hearts of the children back to the fathers. So tonight, we pray that you would bring the prodigals home. Lord, bring back the prodigal children back to their parents. Lord, we also pray for the children who don't have parents to love them. May they know tonight that above all else you love them. But we pray for their parents as well. Your promise is two-fold - the father's would turn to their children and the children to their fathers. So we pray for a special impartation of that tonight. After hearing the brokenness of parents tonight, we just want to lift up the children and pray that you bring them back to you. And in knowing the pains of this fatherless generation, we pray that you would break off the orphan spirit and return the father and mothers back in loving relationship with their children. Teach us how to love without agenda Lord. May we love people through the good times and the bad even when they aren't following after you. Thank you that you showed us what this looks like in sending your Son even in the midst our sin and depravity. Help us to never lose sight of who you are. Thank you Abba Father. You are soo goood! We love you. In Jesus Name, Amen!

Who will stand?

This is a video testimony of the Justice House of Prayer. They were praying and worshipping in San Francisco one Friday night as they usually do when they began to be attacked and cursed by onlookers. It's a crazy story. At one point, the group was surrounded by a mob of people, and they had to eventually be escorted away by the SWAT team. One of the girls said she always thought she would die a martyr for evangelism, but she never thought she would die a martyr for intercession.

It is a chilling reality check of the situation we are in today. How many of us would actually be willing to die for the sake of praying and worshipping God? Paul tels Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:12, "Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted..." It's crazy to think that something like this is happening even in America today. Ezekiel 22:30 says, "I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none." We say we love Jesus and will do whatever it takes. But when push comes to show who will stand in the gap for this generation? Who is willing to take up the call?



Check out their official statement on their website:
http://www.jhopsf.org/

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions.

Gotta love them....

Seriously though, decisions are a big deal. I think people's response to them really reflects a lot about a person. My head is swirling through a range of possibilities, scenarios and what not as I ready myself to make a big decision. But if there is one thing that I can glean from this whole situation is that decisions can really bring you closer not only to God but to those around you who you love and respect. In just the last 3 hours, I have had some of the most intentional and intimate conversations I have ever had with the some of the most important people to me. Though I am still struggling to come to terms with this decision, I feel like I have experienced transformation myself in just the last three hours as I have come face to face with grappling with this issue with people I love. I have learned so much about the myself and so much about the people I have shared with. I have realized how much they truly love me, trust me, and support me. I think that to me has been one of the most significant things that I can take from this situation. Regardless, of what I decide and what other people's opinions are, I think I can be at peace knowing that people genuinely care about me and want the best for me. Ultimately, the decisions we make are between us and God; however, in this process, I have learned the beauty of what it looks like to invite other people into the process. You get to grapple through things together, and I think it really pushes everyone involved to truly seek the heart of God.

Anyway, on a lighter night note, I got to go out to the lake today and spend some time with God. My discipleship group went out and spent a few hours in the wilderness hearing from God. It was a little distracting at first, and at times, I got frustrated because I really wanted to have some more clarity from God. I was a little disappointed at first, but after thinking about the situation, I am beginning to see a little more of what God was speaking. I think at times I really want to see something spectacular and amazing from, and in doing so, I sometimes fail to see the more subtle things He wants to show me - like just enjoying time to rest and relax with Jesus! But anyhoo, I decided to read through Song of Solomon again. It's such a cool book to read in seeing Jesus' love for the church. Anyway, I was reminded of the significant of these passages once again.

Here they are:

Song of Solomon 4:9 "You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes."
Song of Solomon 6:5 "Turn away your eyes from me, for they overwhelm me."

In these two passages, the bridegroom is speaking and he is referring to the beauty of the bride's eyes. The bridegroom represents Jesus and the bride represents the church. I heard Brian Kim talking about this passage over the summer, and he put it something like this: God is so madly in love with us that when we just glance our eyes towards Him, His heart is captivated and He is overwhelmed by it. Can you even imagine that? When we lock eyes with the God of the universe for just one split second, we blow Him away. That is how much Jesus is in love with us. The crazy thing is that we are so dirty and despicable on our own doing. But because of what Jesus did for us, He sees us as absolutely beautiful. He is captivated by us and overwhelmed by just one glance. I can't even come to terms with this. It's like walking through the mall, and catching the eye of that beautiful guy or girl for that brief moment as you pass each other and your heart just melts. God's heart does that every time we lock eyes for just a little bit.

Now, can you imagine what it would look like if we locked our eyes on him for more than just a moment? How would God react if our eyes were permanently locked on His? What would that mean for our life and for the decisions we make? Now consider this. What would it look like if our entire generation locked eyes with Jesus? What would happen then? If God is delighted by a single glance of our eyes catching one another, what do you think he feels when our entire generation locks our eyes steadfastly with His eyes? We can only speculate, but I believe God is inviting this generation into something special, and He is giving the invitation for this generation to lock eyes with Him.

Lets put the verses in Song of Solomon in perspective with the verse from 2 Chronicles 20:12 that God has recently placed on my heart. 2 Chronicles 20:12 states, "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you." Wow, this verse changes completely for me after putting it into context with the verses from Song of Solomon. No wonder God showed up and saved Jehoshaphat and the people of Judah from certain destruction at the hands of the Moabites and Ammonites. The people of Judah finally placed their eyes on the eyes of God and when this happened, God did not refuse. He provided them a way of salvation and answered their prayers. I believe that this is what God is calling our generation to do. I believe that God is calling specifically the young ones of this generation to heed to this calling. The things God is calling us to might be absurd and unrealistic according to the standards of this world. We may be torn by the decisions we are faced with. But in the end, my heart's desire is to lock my eyes on Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weigh, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who or the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of God."

God, I have no idea what to do, but my eyes are on you. I pray that you would send your spirit and bring clarity to the things you have placed on my heart. But even more so, as I wrestle with this decision, I want to lift up the situation that is even bigger than my own. God, I pray that you would raise up a generation of believers who will set their eyes on you. God, may we strip off all the things of this world that are hindrances to what you desire, and may we look straight into your eyes and peer deep into your heart. God, we want the desires of your heart. Lord, as we stare into your eyes, may we know the things of you heart. Forgive us for putting anything in front of you, O God. God, we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you. We love you Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Uhhh-Mazing!!!!!

Wow! What a day! What a day! What a day!

Today was pretty amazing! I had two papers due and a test today, and I was running on like four hours of sleep from studying and writing the night before. But God is soooo gooood! He got me through the paper writing and helped study pretty efficiently last night, and I feel pretty good about the test. But that was just the beginning of God's awesomeness today.

So today, in class my professor had a really awesome lecture about just the inconsistencies in our culture as we venture to see more sustainable development. The class is International Development and Sustainability, and it's a really cool class because it talks about the different ways that we need to approach making our communities more sustainable. I see God revealing Himself so much in that class by seeing the ways in which God wants to bring restoration to society. Sustainable development has a lot to do with maintaining resources while meeting the needs of the underprivileged and overlooked. It's cool to see how the strategies that are deemed to be most successful have been the projects that incorporate grassroots mobilization and local participation. Sustainable development points to the ways in which the large-scale development agencies are most successful when the empower the local people. Why is this so cool? Because God wants to use the marginalized and overlooked in society to restore our generation. Sustainable development is seeing the ways in which indigenous knowledge and empowerment is often the most successful in seeing this restoration. Likewise, this idea of local empowerment and grassroots mobilization is the whole idea of the simple church! When we empower from the bottom-up rather than reinforcing a hierarchy of power from the top-down, we will see God do some amazing things. I see this happening on the campuses especially through the freshman class of 2012. God has awesome things in store for them, and we must empower them to know who they are in Christ so that they can step into their identities. But a little more on this later.


After class, I saw J'shon, and we go to talk about some awesome stuff going on in our lives and pray over the campus. I also got to meet with my discipler Shaun, and we got to talk and share what God was doing in our lives. He gave me this sweet vision map of the things he sees God doing in my life. It was super legit and so encouraging. After that I got to hang out with the discipleship group I lead. We were celebrating Zach's birthday, so we went to go get frozen yogurt! Man, this day just keeps getting better! I got my favorite green tea frozen yogurt! It was muy delicioso!

But it gets even better. Maybe one of the greatest highlights of the day was going to our Asian Coalition meeting. Asian Coalition is the umbrella organization that oversees the different Asian clubs on campus. We joined the group to be able to gain connections with the Asian American community and help make an impact in the community. The Asian Coalition helps fund different cultural activities and events. Since we are going as a group to Epic Conference this semester, we needed a lot of money to get plane tickets to help lower costs for our members. So we made a proposal today asking Asian Coalition to support our group going to Epic Conference. I will go into more detail on this in the Epic Movement Blog sometime this weekend because it is an awesome story. But long story short, God totally had favor upon us and provided us $500 to help with airplane and registration fees! Thank you Jesus! It was soo awesome! God is doing awesome things in the Asian American community and has been blessing us like crazy. One of the girls was telling us afterwards that the Coalition said that we gave the best proposal the ever had. In return for the money they are supporting us with, they want us to hold a workshop talking about the things we learned about the conference and describing the overall phenomenon of Asian Americans being an invisible minority! It is going to be such an awesome opportunity that God is going to use to speak truth and freedom to the Asian American community. Seriously!? God is soo Legit!

Than to top it off, I went to our final Crusade meeting tonight. Since it was the final meeting, we had an open mic night where people could share some of the things God was putting on their heart. I had talked to Shaun a little bit earlier about some stuff, and so he encouraged me to go up and talk tonight. As they called people to go up, I knew that God wanted me to go up there, but I was pretty nervous. I stood in line to speak, and I was feeling a little of the nerves. I haven't been to Crusade or spoken publicly in a while so it was pretty exciting. As I went up to speak, God totally gave me a peace of mind. It was so awesome to be just relaxed up there knowing that God would give me the words.

I got talk about how God has been putting the freshman class of 2012 on my heart. I asked the freshman to raise their hand, and it was so awesome to see how many freshman were there. Crusade has grown a lot this year, and there are probably about 200 people or so that come every week. So there was a good amount of freshman! So awesome! So I told them a little bit about my freshman experience and how I was totally different. I told them how God wanted to use the freshman class to do amazing things. God has been showing me awesome things about the freshman class. He has drawn my attention to the numbers 2,1,2 in the number 2012. When you put those numbers together you get 212. It takes 212 degrees to reach boiling point, and I believe that God wants to use the class of 2012 to see our campuses reach boiling point for Jesus. In addition to this, God showed me an awesome verse at Crossroads last weekend that I think encapsulates what God is calling the freshman class to do. This verse caught my attention because I remember trying to look for a verse that God would use to describe the freshman class. And I think, He has begun to reveal it. The verse is 2 Chronicles 20:12 which is crazy because it has the numbers 2012 for the class of 2012! ya!!!!

Anyway, in the verse, King Jehoshaphat is about to be attacked by an army and he doesn't know what to do. So in verse 12 he prays this prayer that I believe is going to be the defining prayer of this generation. He prays this prayer to God saying, "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you." I think there is this conception that we must know what we are doing to do God's will, or we must be super-qualified to be leaders. For so long we have relied on leadership structures that focus on leaders at the top telling those under them what to do. But I believe that God wants us to shift away from this and empower a leadership structure from the bottom up. God wants us to empower people like the freshman to hear God's voice and respond. This may seem scary and filled with uncertainty. But what Jehoshaphat's prayer reveals is that we don't have to know what to do. All we must do is set our eyes on Jesus. If you keep reading in that chapter, you see that the Spirit of God comes upon a young man and he tells the whole assembly of Israel what to do. In the midst of the King's prayer, God spoke to a young man to direct the entire nation of Israel.

I believe that God wants to do similar things with our freshman on our campuses. But not only the freshman but all those people in our ministries who think they aren't cut up for the job. I believe that this will have domino affect as we see freshman begin to empower other groups that have been marginalized in our society such as immigrants, minorities, and the poor to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. I saw this cool quote on a prayer board during 24hour prayer, it said, "God doesn't call the qualified; he qualifies those he calls." In Colossians 1:11-12, it states, "May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light." It is a lie of the enemy that says you have to be qualified to be a leader. God is the one who qualifies us through His son Jesus Christ. We are more than conquerors. We must empower this generation to know their identity so that there destiny may be released. Our generation must know that they are loved by God, and it is out of this love that we will step into the fullness of God has called us to be. God is calling the little children to Him. Don't think that can't use you. Throughout the Bible, God has used the young! He wants you!

God, I pray that you would raise up a generation who will respond to your call. We break off the lies of the enemy that have subjugated your people for too long, in Jesus name. Raise up a might generation who knows the essence of their identity - we are beloved children of God. God, I pray you would release destiny to this generation. Raise up forerunners who will speak your message of truth, and raise your brave warriors who will respond to the awesome adventure you are inviting us into. Thank you so much for all the blessings you have poured out to me this week and especially today. God, I know that nothing that has happened today has been due to my personal abilities. I am weak and inadequate, yet you have empowered me to know the great I AM. Lord, humble my heart and break off all pride. All glory and honor to you. Thank you for you amazing love! Your grace is sufficient for me. Thank you for abounding us with the richness of your glory. You are Uhh-Mazing! I love you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

New Perspective on Studying?

So studying long hours into the night is never usually a highly-anticipated activity. But in my quest to see how God is working in everything, I had another thought. What if all the time I spent at Hayden Library, I saw myself as a library intercessor? I mean the whole idea sparked when I was taking a break from doing my work (which I should be doing now). I went outside and sat down by the fountain and just sat there observing what has happening around the campus and asking God what He had on His mind. There was a street preacher talking to a small crowd. Usually the crowd is made up of the same group of people from the secular-free thinking society. I just kinda sat there and observed and prayed for what was happening there.

While I was sitting there, a friend came out of the prayer chapel and approached me. We started talking about the street preachers and stuff, and as we talked, he mentioned to me that a girl he knew had a vision that one of the prominent leaders of the secular club crying out to Jesus! Cuurrraaazzzzy! So we prayed over that and declared that, and then I walked back down the library steps to finish my homework (which I will be resuming shortly). As I walked down, I saw people sitting outside, and to be honest, they looked somewhat oppressed and down-hearted. It is even more obvious now as we head into finals. I walked into the doors of the library, and I was reminded of the intellectual bindings that the enemy has over students in our campuses.

As I thought about it, I had this thought come into my mind that we really need to be praying for the students in our campus. And what better place to do it than in the library. The library represents a place of one of the enemies strongholds -our minds. The intellectual stronghold over the campus is probably one of greatest hindrances to gospel of Christ. As I think about it contextually, Hayden library is an underground library so we go beneath the very foundations of the school itself. 24 hour prayer has been housed many times on Hayden Lawn which is directly on top of the library. We have talked about this many times with our prayer group, and one of the things that has come up is praying for the foundation of Hayden Lawn and ASU in general because intellectualism currently is one of the biggest foundations that the university is founded upon. Symbolically, I think this is pretty powerful because here at ASU, like I've mentioned, the library is underground which makes it literally a foundation for a big part of the campus.

And as I think about it even more, Hayden library is open 24 hours a day for most days of the year. And as I think about it more, so many people are in the Hayden library at the wee hours of the morning. I was here until 2am last night. So as I think about it, why don't I be more intentional in lifting up prayers every time I am here studying. What if I changed my mentality of going to the library? What if we all changed our mentality about studying and used it as an opportunity to intercede against the oppressive spirit of intellectualism that has held our campuses bound for so long. What if we are saw ourselves as watchmen interceding in the night as we worked into the wee hours of night on homework. The enemy wants to try to steal our joy and bring anxiety through school work and especially now during finals time.

But I don't think we tolerate this foul spirit of intellectualism and anxiety that the enemy places upon us! No, the Bible says where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom! Can you imagine what that would look like if that happened at the library? What if the library of all places was a place where the Spirit of God rested? There would be freedom and deliverance! We see people be freed of so many disorders and addictions associated with the stresses of school work. It would be amazing! It would change the foundation of our campuses and rock the spiritual atmosphere.

So like I said before God is good! He is too good to be confined to our Sunday morning church services, Christian club meetings, or even conversations with friends. God is with us everywhere we go and in whatever we do. Let's remember that especially during this season of finals and crazy studying. Be a library intercessor! It's the year of the Lord's favor. He is going to set the captives free!

Dear God,
May we see you in every moment of our lives. May you change our perspectives from earthly things to heavenly things. May we not be bogged down by things of this world, but may we be set free by renewing of our minds. Renew our minds and give us a fresh new realization that we are loved by you. May we be intercessors wherever we may be. May you bind the spirit of intellectualism on our campuses and restore the foundations to be built on the Cornerstone. Bind the hearts of broken-hearted and set the captives free. We declare the year of Jubilee - the Year of the Lord's blessing! Thank you, Abba Father. You are our true source of knowledge -you are the way, the truth, and the life. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Insightful Procrastination?

So I have a lot of work to do. But I have a thought, so I'm going to write it down because that is what you do on blogs.

Do you know that verse that talks about how if they recorded all the awesome stuff Jesus did in His 3 years of ministry they wouldn't have enough space to hold it all? I can't remember where the verse is right now, but if someone knows, they should let me know!

Anyway, I was just thinking about how awesome God is, and all the awesome things that God is doing in my life and in the lives of people around me. If you have seen any of my blog entries, you probably noticed that I could go on forever and still just only be scratching the tip of the iceberg of things that I think I'm thinking about. So I was thinking that with all the thoughts we have about God and all the cool stuff He is doing in our lives, couldn't something similar be said about us that relates to that verse I mentioned above. I mean it's not like we are doing crazy miracles and stuff at the moment, and I definitely don't want to take away from the person of Jesus - no one will ever be as big as Jesus! But like if we really thought about it, couldn't we possibly reason that if we were to write down all the awesome stuff that God does in our lives and record His goodness to us, we wouldn't be able to write it all down because it would be way too much?

We are blessed with amazing blessings and they are just overflowing all over the place. It talks about how God gives us immeasurably more than we can hope for or imagine. So what's the point I'm trying to make? Well first, God is goood!!!! Secondly, if you know that God is good and see it in your life, write it down! Yes, that means I think you should blog!!! Haha just kidding (but really, you should think about it;)

In closing, write down the awesome things God is doing in your life! Declare it the world! I bet if you tried to write down everything, you couldn't do it. You know why? Because God is just too good to be confined by our weak words!

And that's all I have to say.

God is good.

Enough said.

Can't help but smile :D

"For i have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

First of all, can we just stop and say the Apostle Paul was legit! This guy was throne in jail, got stones thrown at him, got bitten by a snake, and who knows what else he went through. Yet at the end of the day while he is in jail Paul says that he has learned to be content in every situation. Wow! Crazy! How crazy do you have to be to go through so much difficulty and still be smiling at the end of the day knowing that God is good! This just blows my mind away. Paul was so firm in knowing who he was in Christ that nothing could phase him. He was consumed by the love of God, and there was nothing that could stand in the way of carrying out his calling.

Which reminds me of another thing that was recently brought to my attention. Paul cared about people so much. I mean he took the time to write out all these letters to the many churches and every time he wrote to a church he always mentioned how he thanked God for them. This is so crazy for me to grasp sometimes because I look at my own life, and I can hardly keep up with my family and a small group of friends. I haven't done a very good job keeping in touch with the people I care about. My parents recently reminded me of this over break. They brought to my attention to remember to update and stay in contact with all those who have been praying with me and supporting me throughout the years and not to forget the people who helped me get where I am at today. It's such a humbling experience to remember that there have been so many people who have helped me get tot his point.

But anyhoo, I just wanted to take a few moments to say that God is good.! Right now I am going through such an awkward point of my life right now. I have had to have some pretty difficult conversations today and the past week. I have some pretty big decisions to make. And I have two papers and a test all on this Thursday. When I look at it now, it doesn't seem to bad. But there are always those moments when I get really overwhelmed by everything. Yet in the midst of it, I have been learning to trust God more and more. Things could be a lot better, but right now I can't help but smile. God is awesome! He is soo good.

Today, during lunch, a Christian group got to lead worship on the stage outside our Memorial Union. It was so awesome to be out in the middle of campus with other Christians worshipping God. It was so cool. How many times do you get to straight up worship God in the middle of campus with a full band that's mic'd up and everything. God is doing awesome things on this campus. Today's worship service definitely shifted the spiritual atmosphere at ASU today. Likewise with 24hr prayer, last night we had another all campus worship night. It was soo good! The Holy Spirit is rocking in that place let me tell you.

So ya, I have no idea what to think right now. I have been on some pretty low lows in this past week, but God is still working in cool ways. So even though I have no idea what to do about decisions, don't know what to do about all this school work, and really don't know what to do about much of anything in my life at this point, I am happy because Jesus loves me. And I think that was that was Paul's secret. The love of Christ is just too good to have a frown on our face. If we really think about it, God loves us. That's a big deal. God's love is bigger than our biggest decisions. He is bigger than our biggest tests. He is bigger than our greatest fears.

We all go through highs and lows in our life. When we are high God wants us to encourage and lift other people up. When we are low, I think God still wants us to encourage and lift others up. Usually, when I am sad and upset I tend to isolate myself and not want to talk to anyone. But God has really been reminding me how good it is to encourage and love other people even when we are down. When we are sad and help other people, we are not only encouraging other people, but we are encouraging ourselves because we are reminded by the goodness of God by the very words we speak. I ran into a friend today and got to encourage and pray for her, and I got to talk to my grandpa last night and pray for him also. It is always good to see people smile after their feeling blue!

Well, I usually write on forever. So much I could say, but I probably have already written a lot. I guess I just can't help it sometimes. God is good. Enough said.

God,
Thank you that you are good. Thank you that you love me. Thank you that you make me smile. Use me to bring smiles to other peoples' face. You are rad! In Jesus Name, Amen!

Crossroads

Jeremiah 6:16

This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls."

I don't know about you, but I often get into these weird dry spells where I need and want to get things done but I feel like I am paralyzed and cannot do anything. I sometimes get into these seasons where I am really gung-ho about getting things accomplished but I end up doing nothing and wasting time. I get into times of restlessness which I think is especially during times of break and times of big decisions and transitions. I was reading through some of my old journal entries from way back when I first started journaling (which I guess was only about a year ago haha), and I realized that this isn't something new to me. It's crazy because when I think about it now I realize that I am in another crazy transition time, and I believe that the decisions and choices I make here in the next few weeks will shape what this next year will look like.

So like I said, I looked back at some journals and was reading back on the big decisions that I have made around this time of the year for the past two years. Two years ago was the first time I truly decided to surrender my entire life to Christ. It was December 31 2006. My church invited me to speak at our very first Youth Sunday. After speaking, my pastor challenged me to think about going into ministry. I was an engineering and pre-med major at the time, but after wrestling with God over winter break I realized that He was calling me to do something more than what I had planned for myself. Over winter break, I gave up all my dreams and desires for my future career and decided to follow God. My life quickly turned around as crazy opportunities came up and I found myself leading a youth group, leading a small group, and then starting up Epic Movement. My life changed a lot in that one year since God called me to follow Him and give up my own desires.

Then the next winter, I went to Winter Conference in San Diego from December 28- 31, 2007. Long story short, I got rocked hard core by God. At first I was very hesitant to go. It was kind of awkward being there too. I felt out of place at times. But it was there that so many significant things took place. I met my friend Sara there for the first time, and that was the start of some crazy adventures haha. I saw Jaeson Ma speak for the first time, and if you know me at all, I am now borderline stalkerish (jk I'm really not, but it definitely can appear that way sometimes haha). What I mean to say is that Jaeson Ma has been an influential Christian role model in my life who has really changed the way I view my walk with God and the understanding of the passion that He has for me. Also, it was at that conference that ASU began to come together in unity and decided to have a clothes drive to respond to the things God was placing on our hearts and give back to the community. It was here that God opened my eyes to my love for material things above the things of God. I totally brought my nicest clothes to this conference because I wanted to be recognized. I wanted others to see me in order to validate my worth. God crushed this spirit of materialism at this conference as He asked me to give up all the clothes that I brought. It was tough, but I don't regret it at all.

So in the past two years, God has invited me to significant opportunities at the end of each year that have shaped my outlook and attitude in the new year. The first year God broke through my selfish ambitions and desires. He took my dream and aspirations and showed me that His ways were better than mine. He took me from being a shy, reserved boy and made me into a leader and a pioneer. Then the next winter, God took my insecurities and man-pleasing desires and showed me that He alone was my satisfaction. I realized that nothing else could satisfy me than the presence of God in my life. I definitely still struggle in these areas from time to time, but God has worked in my life in crazy ways these past two winters in preparing me for a new year. In the past two years, each year has only gotten better and better in experiencing the goodness and the blessings of God while seeing tremendous growth in my life. The friendships and the experiences of San Diego Winter Conference eventually introduced me to what it meant to be filled with the Spirit, and it changed my life completely. So here I am at another crossroads in my life. I believe that God is going to show up in huge ways and call me into new things in this coming winter break. It's kinda scary to think about what that might be this year. But now that I think about it, I able to put all these things in perspective in light of what God has been doing in my life in the years past.

It's funny because just last weekend I went to a conference called Crossroads with Campus Crusade. It was a really awesome experience. It was like a spiritual re-charge to get to hear about the awesome things God is doing while being able to talk about and remember the things that God is doing in my own life. I had a lot of fun driving up there with the people in my car. I talked so much about God and how rad He is. I haven't talked with that much passion in a while, and it really encouraged me to rekindle those flames of passion that are inside of me. In addition to that it was so awesome to see some of my friends from my Epic Japan trip there. I love those guys so much. They are definitely like family. It's crazy how close we grew over the summer. I finally got to meet the national director of Epic there also, and it was great just to hang out with some others from Epic Movement and hear about what God is doing on their campuses. There were some awkward moments here and there thanks to the lovely people from UH, but what can I expect I suppose, but that's a whole other story that I will not get into here haha. Anyway, the conference was really great, and it helped bring some clarity about deciding things for the future.

Conferences are always nice, but the hard part is the practical application once you get home. I was spiritually recharged after that conference, but then the reality of the situation hit when I got back home: I have some really big decisions to make. And so that's where I am not now. I am stuck in this dilemma of what to decide. Do I intern with Campus Crusade or do I go to seminary? Or do I do both? Those are some more long term decisions I am thinking through right now. I got to talk to an advisor form Fuller Seminary last week after the Crossroads conference so now I must pray and begin to way my decisions. It is interesting to see what God will do in my life. It could be something completely opposite from what I mentioned or expect. But God's plan is always the best, so I'm down with whatever He wants.

I guess the hardest decision I'm going through right now is deciding what I will do during December 28-31. Haha, I guess I just find it pretty crazy that this period of time has been influential in shaping the year for me for the past couple of years, and I find myself now having to make a decision about where I am going to be. Right now, I am deciding between staying home with family, going to San Diego Winter Conference, or going to One Thing. There is a lot involved in each decision, and I must trust and pray and seek God about what His calling is. Right now, I feel like God has opened up an awesome opportunity to go to OneThing. While I was at Crossroads in California, one of my good friends called me and told me a crazy story about how he felt like God was calling us to go there for this conference. It's gonna be a pretty intense conference. They say it might be the single most important conference they have ever had through IHOP. There is a lot to process through, and I don't want to get into all the details here.

But I guess what I want to try to get at is the fact that in times of big decisions I often find myself feeling paralyzed and immobile. I want to surrender all that to God, right now. It's a major crossroads that I am facing once again. Yet, I know that whatever decision I make God will be with me and is sovereign in all things. It comes to a point when we are at the crossroads that we must ask God for direction. Jeremiah 6:16 says ask for the "ancient path" and ask for the "good way" God wants us to ask Him for what the ancient path of those of came before us looked like. He wants us to ask for wise counsel from our elders. I guess when I think about it it's really cool that God invites us into these big decisions where we must trust Him alone to guide us and direct us. We must rely on Him for strength and wisdom. In the midst of these decisions, we draw closer to God and see our own weaknesses and insecurities.

I know after this is all said and done, I will look back at this decision and see that it probably pales in comparison to other decisions I will make in the future. But it's situations like these that help prepare us for the future and help us make those tough decisions that we will soon face. God doesn't allow us to go through things that we cannot bear, and He always provides a way out. It's encouraging to know that even in these decisions God is preparing us for even greater decisions and even harder circumstances. I long for the day when we can go heaven and hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master" (Matthew 25:23). We must remain faithful to God in the daily decisions we make, and it is when we do that that He will entrust us with more. David didn't slay Goliath without prior preparation. He didn't have a one time cram session or last minute preparation. His whole life up to that point was an example to his obedience and faithfulness to the duties that He was put in charge of. David tended His flock faithfully; he protected his sheep from lions and bears; he waited patiently in the fields for his time to come. And I guess, I often forget that it is not the big decisions that define us. It is the little decisions that we make every day that reflect our relationship with God. So many times, my life stops, and I feel restless and immobile as I contemplate and ponder huge decisions. But God wants us to rest in Him and continue to be faithful in our walk with Him. I have often been reminded that breakthrough comes most quickly not when we are striving and seeking after answers, but when we are resting and finding our satisfaction in God.

I think that in this season God is reminding me that in this period of decision I must look back to the source of it all. As I stand at the crossroads, I must remember the old paths and the old ways that got me to the point that I am at today. I must remember Jeremiah 6:16 "This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." God wants to give rest to our weary souls, and He does not desire for us to be anxious. I believe that this comes when we remember that He alone is our true satisfaction. So many times I desire to seek God in order to see new breakthrough and have new revelation. My life stops in paralysis because I do not want to do anything until I know what God wants me to do. But God doesn't want us to seek breakthrough or new revelation. When we stand at the crossroads of life, God is reminding us that He is our breakthrough. He is our greatest reward. Nothing else can give us more joy than He alone. New revelations; new breakthroughs in our personal lives or our ministries - they are all secondary to our greatest reward - the person of Jesus Christ Himself.

So I'll end with this, 1 Peter 5:6-7 states, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." God cares for our every need and our every concern. He cares about the decisions that we me make and the hardships we go through. But at the end of the day, we must remember why we are here. We are here to bring glory to God. We must remember the Great commandment. Love God and love others. When we come to remember that God loves us and we have everything because of Him, He will show up for us and lead us in the right direction. We must humble our hearts in realization that the very reason we have an opportunity to make big decisions that will influence the rest of our lives is because God gave us those awesome opportunities. I believe that God is showing us that when we humble our hearts in submission and acknowledgment that He truly is sovereign - all-powerful and all-knowing - He will lead us to that next step. God will raise us up in proper time, but only when He sees that we are ready. Our pride must be broken down completely. Our self-seeking must be blotted out. Our lives must be given to true surrender and humility. So here I am at the crossroads, Lord. Today, I remember that all I am is yours. You alone are my satisfaction.

God, forgive me for my pride and my self-seeking. Forgive me for wasting times striving after answers when you want me to find rest in you. Lord, I know that you have what is best for me. Help me to walk in your rest and be restored by the joy of my salvation. Forgive me for straying to the left and to the right and forgetting that that road is straight and narrow. God, I pray that you would humble my heart. God, humble the hearts of my generation. May we be forerunners than run faithfully after you. But above all else, may we love you above all things. May we pursue you as a precious jewel. May we give up all that we have in pursuit of the One thing that truly matters in our life. You are the desire of our hearts, O Lord. May nothing else ever come to take that place. God, give us clean hands and pure hearts that we ascend your holy hill. May we desire to seek you face to face. We cast down our idols, and we turn our backs to the things of this world. We repent from our sinful ways, and we turn our hearts back to you. God our prayers echo that of Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20:12, "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you." We don't know where to turn, O God. We are at the crossroads. God, we pray that you would reveal to us your ancient path. We pray that you would show us the good way. Our eyes are on you father. Our eyes are set on You, the author and perfecter of our faith. We love you Lord. All praise and glory belongs to you. In Jesus Name we pray, Amen!