slowing down

So here I am again. It feels like I've been gone for a while - probably because I have been. My apologies for not being very good about updating things lately. I've just been....busy. Yes, the word that seems to burden us all the "b" word. How can I be busy though, it's summer, right? And that's exactly the point that I'm stuck at. It's summer and I'm making myself to be way to busy when I don't have to.

Right now, I should be attending a prophetic conference that was supposed to be going on from Wednesday to Sunday. But I'm not there. Why you may ask? Well, I'm not really sure exactly, but at the same time I do know. It's all about slowing down I suppose.

But anyhoo, here's a brief recap of what my life has looked like in the past couple of days:

Monday: So on Monday, I trained 5 students from my church to teach Bible stories to kids as part of a program called Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF). The youth involved in my church missed the last training period because we were all away at camp. Since I did CEF when I was younger, they asked me to train them. It's been about 6 years or so since I did CEF so I really wasn't sure what I was doing. But it turned our really well. The thing that I stressed for the youth is preparation. We didn't go straight into the Bible Lesson or anything like that. First, we worshipped together, then I taught them wait for God through silent mediation. I asked them to share any images or thoughts they had during their quiet time. None of them shared, so I shared my thoughts. Basically, I told them that I saw a field that was ready for harvest and that they would be the laborers to harvest it. I saw a big gap or chasm in the ground that needed to be filled. I told them that they would stand in the gap of our broken generation. It would take time to fill the gap because it was so large, but God would use them to begin to fill the gap and encourage others to join with them - when this happens the fire of God will come upon them.

After that, I shared with them some other visions I had for them. I told them about the five-fold ministry in Ephesians 4:11, and how I thought it was pretty cool that there were 5 of them that God chose to be a part of CEF. I really encouraged them to keep pursuing God because they were the leaders of the youth and the future leaders of our church. Then, we went into the Word together and had a Bible study on Luke 5:17-26. It was the passage that they would teach their first Bible story on. After getting into the Word, we listed all the prayer requests we had for the youth. I later compiled this list and divided the requests into different themes they could pray for over the week. I then gathered them together to pray for one another. We each took turns laying hands on one another and praying for each other. We prayed about an hour and a half. It went by really quickly. All the youth their, prayed again for healing for my brother's hurt ankle. It was still hurting him, but the next night he ended up playing basketball on it and now he's fine.

So it was really cool hanging out with the youth and teaching them how to pray and prepared. We later went on to study the Bible story but not after a lot of preparation. What I basically taught them was the basis of the simple church: Welcome, Worship, Waiting prayer, Word, and Works (praying for one anther). I pray God will continue to work in their lives and use them to awaken the youth and our church.

Tuesday: All day Tuesday, we prepared for Filipino Independence Day which is this Saturday. We made lots of plans on how we can get the youth involved and stuff. I also had a good conversation with my pastor about his views and understandings of the prophetic. My parents wanted me to talk to my pastor about everything because the night before we kind of got into an argument about the prophetic conference I was going to attend. It was cool to hear that my pastor was very supportive and very open. He told me to be careful and to test everything, but he said that I should definitely go and talk to him about the things that I learned so we could learn together.

Pretty cool, right? So why am I not at at the conference? Good question. Well later that night, my dad decided that our family was going to have a devotion. It was really cool because my mom has totally been praying for my dad to be the spiritual leader of our house and he has totally stepped up. Anyhoo, we had the devotion and it was all about waiting on God. The main passage we read was from Isaiah 57. My dad talked to me and apologized about the argument we had the night before about going to the conference. He told me that I was an adult and he wouldn't stop me from going, and he said that after he did more research on the conference he didn't really see any problems. He just told me to be careful and test everything. My dad then told me that lately he has seen me really grown on fire for God. He said he was really proud of me, but he was also concerned. He said that he had been observing me lately, and he told me that I needed to slow down. I have been so consumed with working and serving God that I have made myself too busy. He said it was good to be on fire and passionate for God, but if I'm not careful I could get myself into trouble because I was always on the go. I was really convicted by this because earlier one of my friends told me that I needed to place some boundareis in my life because I was doing too much.

While my family prayed together, I was really confused. My dad was okay with me going to conference, but now I was the one having second thoughts. I thought that God had totally opened this opportunity up for me, but my dad made me realize that I have to be careful in thinking that everything that comes up is from God. So i struggled with these thoughts as we prayed. At the end, I told my dad that if I didn't go to the conference I just wanted to get away. I was planning on getting away in the first place. From the very beginning of the summer, I just wanted to spend some time with God and get away by myself. But that couldn't happen because of church camp. I told my dad my request, and he so we started thinking about some options. We talked about possibly going up to the mountains or staying at a hotel. Then, all of a sudden, he realized that one of my relatives had gone away for vacation and their house was vacant. He had the key to their house and that I could use it.

God totally, opened up a door for me that I totally wasn't expecting. Ever since the beginning of the summer, I had wanted to get away by myself and spend some time with God. But it wasn't the right time. God has opened up this opportunity for me now and so now I can take some time, slow down, and reflect on everything that has happened in the last year. I have been working myself too hard, but now I get to learn to slow down, wait on God, and enjoy His presence.

I really wanted to go to the conference and grow more in the prophetic. But I have realized that the gifts from God are given and grow out of intimacy with God. I cannot force God's timing or desire all the gifts he offers simply by going to a conference. God is a jealous God, and he is jealous for our time. He doesn't want us to put time limits on how much time we can spend with Him. So, here I am God. My time is all yours. Teach me how to fall in love with you all over again and simply enjoy your presence and delight in time spent with you.

Wednesday: I woke up really early on this day and went to ASU for my brother's orientation. Yay class of 2012! God is going to use you guys to do awesome things. I showed where to go and helped guide him. Then, I went off the prayer house where I just chilled alone because there was no one there. I prayed and journaled some and just rested in God. I had lunch with a friend and just kind of hung out all day. When we were about to leave, the campus director from Campus Crusade called me because I had called her about getting some tracts from her the day before. God, totally answered my prayer because I was already in Tempe and would be able to get the tracts from her.

The day before my pastor asked me if we could get some tracts from Campus Crusade. We are going to do some evangelism at Filipino Independence Day this Saturday. So now we have some material we can use. I was able to get some Knowing God Personally booklets and some surveys. So next Friday, when I get back, I get to train the youth how to share their testimony, take surveys, and share the Gospel. Then, the next day, we will get to go out and share at Filipino Independence Day. Thousands of people will be there, and it's an exciting opportunity because the event is going to be held at ASU West and so we have the opportunity to get people in contact with Campus Crusade at ASU or with our church. It's an exciting opportunity for our church.

Thursday: I spent all day today, doing all the tasks I needed to do so I could away on my personal vacation without worrying about anything I needed to do. I also talked to my brother about having accountability and discipleship for one another and challenged him in His walk. It has been a really busy day, but it's been very productive and very good. I've gotten all the things that I hoped to get accomplished and now I'm ready to go spend some time with Jesus.

So for the next week, I will be a way from my computer and other electronic devices. I hope to just spend some time with God and really learn more about what He has in store for me.

God, I am ready to spend time with you and delight in your presence. Here, I am God. Teach me to love you with all my heart, soul, and mind. I am excited for the adventure we are going to have together. I want to fall in love with you all over again. It's just you and me now. Amen.